Join me as I speak with Jane Gertler of Rebecca Jane Coaching as we talk about how the pandemic was an opportunity for her to create a change in her career.
Jane shares her number one secret behind embracing, welcoming, and even seeking out change within our lives.
About Jane Gertler
Excited to explore a new frontier, Jane Gertler is thrilled to add Core Energy Coaching to her multi-pocketed ‘vest’ of marketing and BD tools. “Showing up energetically as your best self and compelling others to step forward in confidence, is a win-win for all,” says Jane.
An SMPS Fellow and Trained Professional Coach, Jane works with firm Owners and marketing teams in creating marketing, branding, digital communication, BD and client retention plans.
She guides Owners and staff on leadership skills, presentation coaching, specialized submissions and short list interview strategies. She is a published writer, magazine columnist, national speaker and former chapter President of SMPS. Jane has served on the SMPS New York Mentoring Group and the National BD Initiatives Committee. Jane is a graduate of Syracuse University, Newhouse School of Communications.
Where you can find Jane
https://www.rebeccajanecoaching.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janegertler/
Mentioned in the podcast
Shawn Acker’s Ted Talk: The Happy Secret To Better Work
Transcription
Stacie Crawford
Hi, and welcome back to another episode on the changes of our lives podcast I am really excited about today because I have a wonderful friend joining me today. Her name is Jane Gertler, and I can’t wait for you to hear her story because she is an incredibly inspiring and wonderful person. So, Jane, welcome. Thank you for being here. And why don’t you introduce yourself?
Jane Gertler
Thank you, Stacie. Thank you for having me. I’m Jane Gertler. I am a leadership and relationship coach. And I’m excited to talk to you about a whole bunch of stuff.
Stacie Crawford
This is great. This is great. I was very excited whenever you had said that you would be on the podcast, because, you know, we’ve gotten to know each other through our training over the past few years. And I got to see some of your story and see how life has been switched up for you. And you’ve made some pretty big decisions and made some big changes that seem to be working out pretty nicely for you. So why did you want to be on the podcast? Well, I
Jane Gertler
think change is a daunting subject. And I think it’s something that impacts all of us, certainly at some, if not, you know, several times in our lives. And I think it can be embraced, as opposed to something that you can be that you would be terrified of. So if I can, I’d like to help you guys, embrace that change, welcome it and even go after it.
Stacie Crawford
I love it. I love it. So when you and I were originally talking about this, one of the big things that we had talked about was the big change. Probably the biggest change that you had experienced at that point was changing your career. Yeah, so tell me a little bit about that. Well,
Jane Gertler
I was a marketing consultant for 30 years, I have worked on staff in firms, and I became independent later on in my career, I was a marketing consultant specializing in the built environment, meaning I worked with architects, engineers, real estate developers, different sub consultants throughout that particular industry. But a vein that was always prominent, my entire life was an interest in psychology. I actually graduated us Syracuse’s Newhouse School of Communications, with a degree in psychology as well as communication. And it was always the people emotional mind thought body and interconnection that excited me the most.
Stacie Crawford
That is awesome. So how is it that after 30 years in one career, you get to a point where you’re like, oh, maybe this isn’t what I want to do.
Jane Gertler
Generally, and Stacie, you tell me if this is true, there’s usually a catalyst, right? There’s usually something that kind of pushes you to that point. And no big surprise for me it was this pandemic. It allowed me time to step back from a very busy career. I was a fractional cmo for some firms, I would be independent, I would be on staff, I would take on special projects. I guess I seem to embrace the life of the blessedly stressed as I like to call it with kind of many pots on the stove at the same time. And the pandemic allowed us to step back because all of a sudden business sheer quantity fell off. And all of a sudden, I you know, I had some time to look around and go walk, see some friends and enjoy the greenery. And it was during one of those walks. When a friend of mine said, I’d like to tell you about this interesting endeavor I’m in and she told me all about coaching. And the school the program that she had attended, and it was kind of like, this light went on, you know, the skies opened up and it literally took me 30 seconds to say, this is for me. Now, maybe it wasn’t out of the clear, clear blue sky because my entire life I had flirted with the idea of becoming a therapist.
Stacie Crawford
So when you had this conversation with your friend about coaching, it was a light bulb that went off for you. It felt very aligned with who you are. It matched up to the things that you were interested in. How easy or hard was it at that point to jump in to to becoming a coach, because I know the pandemic was going on, but still, like, that seems like a big choice to pursue that.
Jane Gertler
It’s a huge choice choice to pursue that. But fortunately for me, I had I had I had support, I had a safety valve, my husband was gainfully employed, he was working like crazy meeting the demands of this pandemic. So I was fortunate I had a security blanket, there was a safety net there. So I had the freedom to investigate what this program would look like, what it would cost and what the time commitment would be. And fortunately, I was able to meet and, and welcome and truly embrace that opportunity.
Stacie Crawford
That’s amazing. And, you know, we, of course, know all of the downside of the pandemic. And I have loved hearing everybody’s upsides of the pandemic. And so it’s, it’s, I think, that you’re the first person that I’ve heard that has said that someone in their family was actually working harder because of the pandemic, you know, and, and trying to meet the demands of what was going on. So I find that interesting. And while that was probably stressful, on some level, it gave you that room, that space,
Jane Gertler
you know, it’s it was enormously stressful, but I have to say, part of, of being a leader in your own life, and which is what I like to call it, is choosing who you surround yourself with. And fortunately, I am married to a very creative, engaging, dynamic person. And he chose the pandemic to be an opportunity to grow his business, to see how he could branch out and offer a product stream that would fulfill the needs of many. And I kind of think that we like to go through life. I like that. We look for opportunities, we raised our children to look for opportunities. I mean, I’m the kind of person who likes to say, yes, you know, there are two kinds of people there. There’s, there’s the person who likes to go to the same restaurant because they liked the food, they enjoy the service. And they enjoy knowing, you know, the person who greets them at the door. And then there’s someone like me who I can enjoy that. But I will always choose the new restaurant, the new food, the new experience and the potential of meeting the new person with it. It’s, it’s interesting.
Stacie Crawford
That is interesting, because I also sit there and I think that makes me wonder, does that make change easier for you? Do you think that you weather change easier? Because you do have this looking for opportunity? Looking for adventure?
Jane Gertler
Absolutely. Absolutely. And it’s easy to look for opportunity when it presents itself in a positive light, right? This coaching opportunity was a positive light. You know, other than the financial commitment there was, there was no potential downside to it. I had the time I had the energy, I had the focus, I had the desire. Unfortunately, so many times, in the course of our day, we have challenges that come up, who doesn’t, you know, somebody in your family becomes ill. There is a social situation, which presents a conflict to you. There are 100 different, you know, roadblocks that can get in your way to form a coaching relationship is to is to form a dynamic with someone that helps you meet those roadblocks, and climb over them, go around them, get rid of them altogether. I’d be foolish to say there aren’t roadblocks and challenges, right. We all know that. But the question is, when you hit those big ones, how do you stay productive? How do you go forward? How do you keep moving? And let me tell you sometimes that’s not easy.
Stacie Crawford
Absolutely. I agree with you. So what were the hard parts about changing your career?
Jane Gertler
For me, I mean, sitting in a room and getting to know the technology. Okay, so so we got through that. Okay. Maintaining the focus, but I you know, it sounds crazy, but I almost want to say I mean building businesses difficult. That’s, you know, that’s always a challenge. How do we get new clients but when you commit yourself to following your own core values, you know, for me, it’s changed. John growing into this situation and learning more, and building relationships, it’s following your own core values really allows you to be able to move forward. And I think you have to figure out and take some time, what are those core values? What is most important to you? To me it is it is being a value to people. So when I was busy marketing, buildings and and, and marketing the quality of a particular firm and the particular, you know, tasks that they did, that was enjoyable. But what was interesting to me that I learned was, I really enjoyed working directly with the people, and teaching them how they could present, how they could feel more comfortable, how they could make their workday more rewarding and more fulfilling how they could be a key part of building their business, how they could be a key part in in motivating the people they work with to be more positive. For me, it was, it was always the people angle that was coming up, I would be the person that would sit on the panel talking about work life balance, I would be the person helping people to mingle in a strange setting in an industrial conference or cocktail party, I would be the person that would help people become acquainted at a table to kind of, you know, let the seeds germinate for a good conversation. I looked at this and I always found myself in this role. I wasn’t the person that embrace the technology and how to do you know all the all the digital stuff to get it out there? You know, you kind of kind of figure out what feeds you and what doesn’t.
Stacie Crawford
It’s so interesting, because I know that the core values that you have have always shine very brightly, and all of our interactions that we’ve had. So it is not surprising to me that for you being aware of them, relying on them, using them as a touchstone for when times do get tough to be like, Oh, yes, this is this is what I’m this is what feels good. This is why I’m doing this, that none of this surprises me about you. I’m wondering, you know, how, how do you use your core values? To help the people around you and in your daily life? Without being a coach? I mean, you’re always a coach, because you’re a coach, you know, but you know, what are what are those little moments that you can think of that when you don’t want to come off as a coach? Because you know, the people in our lives? They don’t, they don’t like us to be coaching them? How do you? How do you do that? How do you balance that? How do you get all that good stuff going?
Jane Gertler
It’s I think it’s a more gentle approach. I think it’s, um, how to coach without being a coach, it’s it’s very interesting, because it happens all the time. It happens with friends, it happens with families, it happens in professional situations. There are times I mean, I can tell you one example, as a parent, you know, my adult son came to me and he and he came visit and he had a challenging work situation. And I would say, before I became a coach, I would, I would listen to him. And I would say, Well, I think you should do this. This was a job related situation. This time when he came with his challenge. I didn’t say I think you should do this. We did a coaching exercise. And it’s called a Pain Gain exercise. And we’ve talked about what would be the rewards of taking approach a and what would be the downside of taking coach a and the downside are situation A and the downside of situation b. And we can that we did this exercise for about 45 minutes, I wrote down all of the notes. And that was I guess that was that was a pretty obvious coaching moment, though. So let me answer your question a little differently. And another situation. I guess my response would be is that I would gently ask questions. It’s like when you’re talking to a friend, you tend to say I think you should do this. Or maybe this solution would be the best for you. But does that really really help? What really helps is to ask them a question. And to, you know, I had I had a friend come to me who was struggling with her relationship with her daughter. And we were talking, and typically I might say, Well, maybe you should try that. Maybe you should try not being so confrontational when you talk to her. So I said to her, did you ask her how she would like you to address the situation? Or, you know, would you think about asking her questions to find out more, as opposed to just telling her what you think she should do? It’s kind of like allowing people to come to the solution on their own. Without just giving them advice. I love that.
Stacie Crawford
I love that that’s such a beautiful and powerful part of coaching is when we as coaches are able to ask those questions that I would say almost leads the the person that we’re coaching to really have that space to dig in. And yes, find the solutions that work for them. That’s an incredible part of being a coach. I have another question for you. So one of the things that you had mentioned, when we had spoken before about the podcast was this idea of being the person who stays open and is ready to share. Good thank you can expand on that a little bit. For me,
Jane Gertler
being the person who stays open and is ready to share, I call it being the Yes girl. I call it being willing to try different situations, to put yourself in an era to allow yourself to have an errand adventure of adventure. Whether it is I’m not saying that you should go bungee jumping, you know, I’ll never go bungee jumping no matter how. But, uh, but again, it kind of kind of relates to you know, going back to the same restaurant or trying something different. You know, if if someone says to me, you know, come on, let’s eat, and I’m a New Yorker, you know, I’m used to eating near where I live on Long Island or going into the city. A friend says to me, Hey, you want to try this place in Queens? You know, I might say, I hate queens. I can’t park there. It’s too crowded. It’s too crazy. It’s too congested. Or I could say, Sure. You know, I’ll go let’s let’s give it a shot. And you can take that up a level, are you are you available to take on new challenges at work? You know, or are you are you more content and feeling more safe and staying in your own in your own zone, taking on new challenges will allow you to grow? You know, it will allow you to do different things. I mean, for example, in and later position I had, we were trying to become the firm that would be allowed to speak at the National architectural conference. Competition is huge. There are 1000s of applications to do a talk at the National AIA conference, for sure. And out of those, they say a mere, I don’t know, 30% get chosen. So you have 70% that are not chosen, are you willing to spend your time, you know, hours and hours when you’re busy doing everything else? To become? You know, one of the 30% that gets chosen? And I you know, I couldn’t say no, it was it was posed to me it was suggested to me. And I tried to figure out the best way to do it. And the response, of course, that I learned was to build a team and to assign different tasks to members of the team. Some were doing research, some were doing graphics, some were doing you know, other other focus planning and saying yes, and going forth and doing it. Be the yes person. If something slightly intrigues, you see the opportunity that it offers you, you know, see what the silver lining in the situation could be. And it’s kind of just deals with being open.
Stacie Crawford
I love that. You know, when you mentioned the silver lining. I kind of had this idea that when we are sitting in a place that feels really good and it feels like life is rolling along and we’re just feeling really happy and life is grand. It seems easier to say yes to try new things. But we have times in our lives when we’ve got curveballs thrown at us. And I would guess that that would be almost a more important time to start saying yes, and to be open, what do you think about that?
Jane Gertler
I think it depends on your strength and your level of energy. You know, it’s so depends upon where you are in your life. If you have personal challenges, if you have other things that are going on, of course, that’s gonna put it that’s going to hold the lid down on what you can open yourself up to. In the course of my coaching, I’d like coaching businesses, I like coaching people and helping them with communication and time management and following your own core values. And being a leader and motivating people in the course of my coaching, training. And an offer popped up to become a matchmaker to work with people who were looking for love to work with people who wanted to follow their core values and really find someone that they could connect with. And I said, Yes. And I went in it. And in the middle of this matchmaking there became opportunities for coaching, because it went became a matchmaking and coaching service. And what I’ve learned from that is, is incredible, it’s a whole other take on relationship coaching. I want to be honest, and say, it’s not the be all and end all for me, because I do prefer the leadership and business building aspect. But it was something I said yes to. And I definitely learned from the experience, I love that different things come up, you know, you, depending upon where you want in your art in your life, you know, it doesn’t mean that you can start, you can stop, you can change, you can try different things.
Stacie Crawford
I love that. I think that’s so great. So let me ask you another question here about you and your career. When you decided that you were going to go after this coaching, training and change your career. Did you have fears about starting that? Because if you were, you know, if you’re in the same career, for 30 years old, you are at least 30 years old. So you know, we get to a certain point where it’s like, oh, do I want to start all over again, at this point in my life, you know, you have adult children? Is this the time to start up? Or were you afraid of anything like?
Jane Gertler
Absolutely the time to start over, because they’re out of the house, they’re out of school, they’re out of the house is no more college tuition, their independent, mind, fortunately, are all independent. And it is totally the time I think it’s one of the few times that I have a really clear head where I can do that, you know, the fears that everybody has when it comes to changes, you know, and we all know that this is the big Gremlin as we talk about it is that am I not to do this. That’s the fear that tends to stop us. Form your communities. You know, no matter what it is talk to people, you have your vision on something, find someone who does it well, and learn from them. You know, and have your support community and join the business groups in the industry groups and get involved, you know, get involved in planning and get involved in learning more about what they’re about, you know, read the books and talk to the people and see how they do what you want to do. You know, with respect to coaching, we have as you know, Stacy, we have this most awesome community. I mean, and we keep going with peer coaching opportunities, and it’s, it’s just never ending. So I think the most glorious thing is that I personally continued to be fed, quote, unquote, as well as doing and helping others to. I just think, you know, I’m a person who likes to be in a culture where I feel enriched. Everyone should be in a culture where they feel enriched, first of all, have fun. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you’re going to have fun. Make sure you can thrive doing, make sure that there’s a good culture around you that you can feel enriched, make sure that you’re with positive people. I remember I was applying for a job once and I met a man who he was interviewing me for a position. And he said to me, you know, what do you want out of a job. And I said, I want to be productive. I want to feel like I am really doing something of value. I want to work with a team who values collaboration. And I want to have fun. And he looked at me, like I had, you know, you know, three yellow, crazy things coming out of my head. And he said, fun. What do you mean, you want to go to work and have fun? And I said, Yeah, absolutely. Well, needless to say, that didn’t work out. Cannes and parted ways. And you know, and then he called me the next day and asked me if I’d like work on commission, and my only in mind was No, but you know, again, what are your core values and know what you want, and have the courage have the courage to move forward? I love it.
Stacie Crawford
You know, Jane, like I said, at the very beginning, you are somebody that in my experiences with you, you have always shown up with, you know, your values flag flying high, you know, you have always stood very grounded, and what was important to you, and you’ve showed up in a way that make your values very obvious to the people around you. And I think that’s very admirable. And it’s beautiful, because you are just constantly seeming show up as authentically Jain period. You are, you know, so you and I love how your message of being open, saying yes, just it feeds into what your values are. It feeds into that growing and learning and thriving. And I see that and what you do. I say that and how I hear you talk about your family as well. But in your business, I see it, it’s just incredible. So last question for you is, if somebody is listening to this, and they are looking for change in their life, to be easier to not feel so heavy. Do you have any suggestions on how to make it feel lighter?
Jane Gertler
How to make change, feel lighter?
Stacie Crawford
That’s a question. Well,
Jane Gertler
maybe there’s an exercise or two that I would do. I would when I was first looking at jobs and careers and things like that many years ago, or somewhere in the middle, when I was looking to make a change, I would I would suggest that they write down 25 activities that they enjoy first 25 activities that you really, really enjoy work related or non work related. I mean, you enjoy writing, that’s terrific. You enjoy walking in nature, I would put it down, you know, what are those 25 activities that you really want? Then I would suggest writing down 25 activities where you have felt most fulfilled in your life. up to present day. Perhaps you as I did plan the conference, perhaps you know did something for charity that allowed you to feel most fulfilled. I was involved in Canstruction where we collected cans of food and build sculptures out of them and donated the proceeds to Canstruction which is a national organization. Perhaps you raise money for something, perhaps you you know, took your company through a shortlist interview and one an amazing project. A perhaps giving birth to your first child, you know what were those experiences that you found most fulfilling in your life? At the end of this exercise, look at the list of what you’ve enjoyed. And look at the list of what you found most fulfilling. And then don’t forget to think about where you can make money and put those pieces together. And maybe the intersection of those three will make the change that you are seeking easier for you. For me, I knew I wanting to bring value to people. So while I was teaching someone how to present a project in front of an audience, the most exciting part was teaching them how they could best relax and feel comfortable in front of that audience. I really enjoy bringing value to people, and aligning with them to meet their challenges. So they can go forward and keep going forward and continue to show up as their best selves through the changes that they’re creating.
Stacie Crawford
I love that, you know, one of the things that we learned at the very beginning of our training, is that connecting with that, why? And, you know, why is it that we even are here. And I think that so many of us can get stuck on the real surface level wise, but the things that you’re talking about in this exercise, they’re really going deep. And I mean, you’re talking about fulfillment, fulfillment, this is a big deal. And when we can connect with that, it does make it seem like whatever changes we need to go through to get to feeling more fulfilled more consistently, in our work, and the way that we show up with other people, it makes the changes a lot easier. I think that’s an amazing exercise. I love that.
Jane Gertler
Totally, Yale University did a whole study on happiness. If you Google it, you can, you can find it. And one of the things that that that came up with this, you know, within this study of happiness is that being fulfilled, and feeling like you are doing something of value yourself are one of the key indicators of happiness. Also, there’s a guy named Shawn Achor, Shawn, AC, H O. R, who does a TED talk, which is my favorite TED talk in the whole world. And he talks about happiness and being fulfilled. And he talks about how you can be a happier person and feel fulfilled by doing some very simple things.
Stacie Crawford
I love that I’m going to look those up so that I can actually put this in the show notes. Of course, spend a little bit of time watching and reading myself. That is really great. So Jane, if somebody was listening to this, and they were like, No, that Jane she sounds like somebody I would like to talk to maybe learn more about working with. How can they get in touch with you? What exactly do you do with your clients? Who do you work with? Who do you love to work with? Tell me everything. Spill the beans on on your business, my friend.
Jane Gertler
I love working with businesses and groups. The name of my company is Rebecca Jane coaching. My email is Jane at Rebecca Jane coaching.com. That’s the best way to get in touch with me. I love working with people and aligning with individuals and with groups in professional businesses. I work with leaders, owners, senior managers, middle managers, I work with people willing, you know, wanting to grow within their own companies. I adore working with individuals I adore working with groups. And that’s it.
Stacie Crawford
That’s wonderful. And I’m going to have your email address in the show notes and link to your website and all that good stuff so that people can reach out to you. Thank you. Thank you for being part of this. Thank you for sharing, you know, many many words of wisdom and exercises. This was amazing.
Jane Gertler
I’m so glad thank you so much for having me. Stacy. Always great to collaborate with you. You know that
Stacie Crawford
excellent YouTube, I will talk to you soon. Okay,
Jane Gertler
take care now.