The Changes In Our Lives Uncategorized Episode 6: Kathy: It’s OK To Be Where You Are Right Now

Episode 6: Kathy: It’s OK To Be Where You Are Right Now

Anyone can tell you that fear can hit you hard when you’re transitioning from a corporate career to being an entrepreneur. That fear can stop you in your tracks. Kathy Bleier hasn’t let fear stop her from building a successful coaching business. Join me and Kathy, as we discuss some of the transitions that Kathy has experienced while becoming an entrepreneur after age 50.


Kathy Bleier ACC, CPC, ELI-MP is a transitional life, leadership and business coach with Kathy Bleier Coaching. Kathy helps people and organizations navigate change. Her practice focuses on helping individuals and companies shift their mindset from being stuck to living and working in positivity and profitability. 

Kathy has decades of experience in leadership, human resources and talent acquisition roles where she was responsible for leading multi-million-dollar markets and executing company-wide training and development programs for internationally known brands. 

She has earned an undergraduate degree in Psychology from Fairleigh Dickinson University and is a certified professional coach from the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching and the International Coaching Federation. Kathy is one of a select group of certified professional coaches who holds specialist certifications in Transition, Leadership, Performance and Wellbeing.

Kathy Bleier Coaching

Kathy’s LinkedIn Profile


Stacie Crawford 0:00
Hi, Kathy, welcome.

Kathy Bleier 0:03
Hey, Stacie, how are you today?

Stacie Crawford 0:04
Good, good. Thank you so much for coming on today. I’ve been looking forward to this. We’ve had so many great conversations over the past few years that we’ve known each other, which is kind of cool to say a few years. And so thank you for coming here and spending your time with me, I appreciate it.

Kathy Bleier 0:24
Thank you so much for having me. Really appreciate that.

Stacie Crawford 0:26
So for the people that don’t know you, your name is Kathy Blier, you are an amazing person, you are also a coach. But why don’t you tell people a little bit about what you do and who you are.

Kathy Bleier 0:43
So it’s funny, because, you know, I think the whole world gets stuck on what is our niche? What is our niche? Who are we coaching, right? So I would say that I coach, both people, humans, and humans in business, and I help them get unstuck. And what I mean by unstuck is, it could be a transition they’re going through, it could be that they just don’t love what they’re doing right now. And they need to find their passion and their happiness. And that could be a life or our work. And I help them move from feeling stuck to feeling unstuck, feeling positivity, about what you’re doing, feeling joy. And I would say based on that, they really lead the life they desire. So really getting down and dirty, and figuring out what that life is, and what it is that they truly want from life. I know we’re going to talk today about certain topics, but many of us go through life, and we make decisions on what others want us to do, versus what is it that we really want to do. So that’s really where I focus on.

Stacie Crawford 1:53
I love it. I love it. And I know that for you, since we’ve been friends over the past few years, your focus has morphed and kind of, you know, you you did start off at a very specific place. And the more that you were coaching people, you realize that you needed to embrace a lot more than what your original intention was. Not just because that’s what your clients needed. But because that was what you needed. And I love how you brought that into your business and how rich it has made your business and made your coaching practice. I think that’s really incredible. And I think your business stems from your own story. So how did you get started in coaching? We’re gonna start there, because I think that’ll lead us into where we’re gonna go today.

Kathy Bleier 2:45
That sounds it sounds great. Yeah, I think that definitely my clients see their story in my story, right? I think that COVID brought a lot of people to transition, right? We hear about the great resignation, we hear about people making choices in their life that may be different than they thought it was going to be. And for me, it ended up that I ended up getting furloughed and then laid off. And at that moment, I felt like it was the biggest disaster of my life, partly because it hadn’t happened to me before. Right. And partly because I have worked my whole life. So when you have had a long span career, even though you have a family and your family defies you and all that, I found that my work to bind me in such a big way. And what I found was that for me at the time, I was in that 5758 year old, no, I don’t mind sharing my age. Because I don’t feel like I’m 57 and 58. You know, I feel totally different. But at that time, what I realized was, and I’ve said this on other podcasts is I had never taken a pause in my life. I had always gone from one job to the other. So it was mostly what I needed to do for my family versus what I wanted to do. And I think when I finally was faced with that, and I truly believe that whatever you believe in God, Light the source, the universe, whatever it is that you spiritually believe. I feel that it brought me to that moment, so that I can look at some things and work on some things and really say what do I want to do in the next chapter of my life? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And say, Yeah, I’m sorry, as I Oh, God, as I sat there and really contemplated it, the piece that I loved the most was when I was coaching people, when I saw the light go on in someone, and that they, you know, were changed in some way. And I thought, how can I make a career out of that and I started looking and discovered coaching and the rest is history.

Stacie Crawford 5:04
I love it. I love it. Yeah, I find it really interesting that so many times, we have these events in our lives that really do seem so disastrous. And they turn out to be quite an incredible blessing in the long run. But it really does get us to a point where we question who we are, who we’ve been, and where we’re going to go from there. Because, you know, you had said, your your work had defined who you are. That was how you that was how you prove to yourself that you were good enough that you were valuable that you were, you know, contributing to society. And then to have that taken away. It’s kind of like, oh, my gosh, what, what the heck do I do next? And so what do you think was the hardest part for you for creating this new business?

Kathy Bleier 6:14
Great question. So I think it changed over time. But I think in the beginning, you know, when you work in a corporate environment, there’s so many people you’re working with. And there’s such a community, when you move to a solo entrepreneur business, it’s you, right? You’re the brand, you’re the personnel there well works is great. And it’s like, whoa, patting myself on the back and what doesn’t work. It’s like, oh, my gosh, right. So that was difficult, I think. I think the other part is, I just love community, and I love people. And it was so hard to be out there by myself. So what I would strongly suggest to anybody is, you know, you hear the thing all the time, find your tribe, right? What is, who is your tribe? Yeah, and I think, you know, many of my coach friends became my tribe, and being able to talk to other entrepreneurs, about what they were going through the challenges they face. All of that made such a huge difference. So it was kind of really finding my community, and being able to connect with them, network with them, and feel like I’m connected to something because connection is an important value for me. So I think if that’s an important value for you, you’re going to need to seek it in a different way. Absolutely. I think that was one of the biggest transitions.

Stacie Crawford 7:39
You know, that’s interesting that you bring that up, because I know from being around you, that community is very important for you. And that you, you get fueled by being around your people. And you get excited about introducing your people, to your other people to your other people, I see that this is really something that is enjoyable to you, it seems to come very easily. But what else I noticed is that when you had moments where you didn’t feel that you had community surrounding a certain idea or a certain value, you just went out and created it. And that to me is I think that’s very admirable. And as somebody who maybe isn’t as extroverted as you are, that, that sounds really exciting. But it also seems like that might be something that is hard to do. So what kind of advice would you give to people that maybe that creating community isn’t their, their forte, you know, how would somebody go out and start creating the community when they are that solo entrepreneur, or even, even if they’re not there, they’ve become a stay at home mom, and all of a sudden they realize, oh, my gosh, I’m doing something alone. And I need people.

Kathy Bleier 9:11
Great question. I think, you know, it’s that age old question of introvert versus extrovert. And I think the really big thing is that to remove those labels, right, everything’s a choice of how we deal with it. And we’re going to deal with it differently based on who we are. So everybody can network, you can just need to network in your way. What makes you feel comfortable, just because using us to you know, and I know we’re kind of similar, but you know if Stacy and Kathy do it differently, neither one is right or wrong. They’re just different. And it’s what is right for you. And now I think as an entrepreneur, the another lesson I had to learn is the race is not you against other entrepreneurs. If it is truly you saying, what’s something I can do a little bit differently this week, what’s something I can do a little bit better this week, instead of doing the comparisons to what other entrepreneurs may be doing, and thinking you’re not enough, or you’re not there, or you’re not, uh, you know, it’s like someone says, doing this, maybe I should just wrap it up and throw in the towel, right? Instead is look at your pace. And what is is that you are looking to master? What is the thing that you’re saying, you know, what is my process right now that I want to get through? Because too often, we are so focused on what the outcome is, or the result? Who’s getting better results than us? You know, and what are we doing? So it’s almost like, if you’ve ever run track in your life, it’s about pacing yourself that your loved one, did you go two minutes faster? Or more or X amount of time faster than your last time out? Right? So it is what is your pace? And what are you comfortable at? So I would say to any mom entrepreneur, is find out what brings you joy, and then start seeking community that brings you joy. And there’s a difference between joy and happiness. And I think it’s really digging deep, and realizing what are the true things that bring you joy? Who are the people that bring you joy? And where do you want to spend your time, instead of thinking you have to spend your time here because everybody else is doing it?

Stacie Crawford 11:38
Yeah. And I think that it’s a natural human response to be sitting there comparing to other people. And it made me think of that move from corporate to solo entrepreneur, I would assume that in the corporate world, that comparison game is not only played but kind of exploited in the attempt to grow the business grow this, you know, there, there’s a competition type of atmosphere. I wonder if that was a hard shift for you to make in terms of going from? I know you did you did sales for quite a while. I know that wasn’t all that you did. But like there’s a bit of competition there where you do compare yourself to other people. And then I just wonder how did you make that shift? What was going on that made you kind of have that aha moment of like, oh, no, this is about me not about what everybody else is doing?

Kathy Bleier 12:46
Yeah, so first of all, I think it’s really important to say competition is good, right? So there’s nothing wrong with competition, it’s when competition becomes a place where it stops you dead in your tracks, or it doesn’t allow you to move forward, or it makes you feel like you’re not enough. So it’s okay to be competitive with yourself and even to have that friend who pushes you all a lot. You know, I was talking about I went to private school when I was little. And we were kind of the same 50 kids growing up in school. So my competition from kindergarten to eighth grade was the same. It was the same people. Right. We competed for the same roles and in place we competed for the same lead inquire we completed for the same class president, right. Yeah. But we each did it in our different way. And I think it was really coming to that point of saying, it’s okay to see what other people are doing. But I don’t have to choose to do everything that they’re doing. So I think that competition is good. My cat is meowing in the background. So So for live recording. So competition is still good. I think it’s when it takes an extreme, and it ends up hurting you versus helping you.

Stacie Crawford 14:17
Yeah. Do you? Can you think of was there a moment when you had that realization that you had to switch? Or was it that you kind of already had that idea that you had to run at your own pace? Well,

Kathy Bleier 14:35
I think what happens is when you become an entrepreneur, you get what’s, you know, that whole shiny object syndrome, right? No one’s doing this and so and so’s doing this and so I have to do that. And then what you end up doing is you’re doing a whole lot of things, but you’re almost like doing nothing, because I felt like nothing was I was doing this and this and this, but I wasn’t completely Doing everything because I was constantly chasing the light. So it was really sitting down. And I would say that most coaches will tell you they have a coach, right? Yeah. And you do some deep inner work. And you find out, like I said before, what is it that brings you joy? Who is that you want to coach? And it might be in a different business as an entrepreneur, you know, what is it that you’re seeking to do? And, you know, big thing is every day working at the process, and trusting that it will come. Right. And that, and also, I would say, the other thing is I really leaned into research, that nothing is wrong or right, that it’s all about research. I’m learning everyday, what works, it doesn’t work. Yes. And that’s okay. Right? Yes, instead of it being a catastrophe when something goes wrong, you know, where I think many of us walk through life. And if it’s not 100%, we almost like judge ourselves and criticize ourselves. And I think that’s probably a big thing is really calming the chatter of your inner judge.

Stacie Crawford 16:13
I agree with you. I know, in my own experiences, one of the things that I’ve really leaned into over the past few years, it did not come natural, and I still have to make conscious choices about it. But the idea that it’s, it’s all an experiment, it doesn’t have to be perfect. We’re just seeing what happens. We’re just trying it out, like, and if it doesn’t work out how I expected it to be well, then that’s that’s information, like you said that that’s research. Okay, great, uh, just try something else. And that’s been a really big place for me to learn and grow about who I am, who I’ve been, you know, because I, I was the kid that, you know, I had to have the good grades. And I had to do this. And I had to do that, because that’s kind of what was expected of me. As opposed to the idea of going to school to learn, no, I was going to school to get good grades, like that was my job to get good grades, which is very different from learning and growing. And so I think it’s very interesting. Do you find that a lot of your clients that you work with begin with this perfection mindset versus the growth mindset? I mean, obviously, they have some growth mindset, because they’re hiring a coach. So they’ve got that, but there’s something about that perfectionist attitude, do you see that a lot?

Kathy Bleier 17:53
Yeah, I mean, I do see it. And it depends, obviously, on the client. So it’s either that perfection or that I can’t do it until everything is in place. Right, then that’s another big lesson and entrepreneurs have to learn. Everything doesn’t always have to be 100% in place for you to try something. And we tend to say, If only, if only I this happens, then I can do this. If only this, then I can do that. And the reality is that sometimes if only is don’t come. So being able to say, Not everything has to be in place 100% For me to be able to do this. And I’m going to figure it out along the way. But it does take trusting yourself. And that is huge, and not as such a hard thing, because many of us grow up with feelings, myself included, have in some way, I’m not enough. And when you can get to that point where you start feeling like you’re enough, that changes everything. It really does. And that doesn’t say, you know, I don’t want our listeners to think like, oh my god, she’s got it all together. And she never feels like she’s not enough. That’s not true, right? We all have our moments of feeling we’re not enough. But it’s are you living more in them than you’re not? Yeah, and many times those are the messages we’ve heard or grew up on, or maybe some trauma happened in our life. And at some point we really started telling ourselves that we’re not enough and how can you move from feeling like you’re not enough to? I am enough.

Stacie Crawford 19:44
It’s such a big thing. And I think that based on me being on the outside of your business and looking in and talking to you, I feel like that is something that you were dealing with in the beginning. I of your business, you were coming up against that a lot, not just with your clients, but with yourself as well. And then as you started working with your clients, you were way more confident very quickly because you started learning your own lessons while working with them. But something else was also going on at that time that I’m wondering what you think, how it’s related to perfection, and all of that kind of stuff, this idea of the imposter syndrome, like I think that we have talked personally about, like, how many times we have those moments of being like, oh, my gosh, no, this isn’t like, I feel like a total imposter here. And, you know, how do you think that that relates to the ideas of perfection? And what are your thoughts on it? I’d like to hear that. See,

Kathy Bleier 20:54
you know, I think it’s really interesting, especially those of us who are maybe, you know, we had talked about before kind of focusing on that over 50, a person who may be considering a transition. And I think it’s that we don’t credit the skills we have. So when I first started coaching, even though I had done coaching, and developmental and different things in my life, I kept using words like, I’m a new coach, right? I’m a new entrepreneur, I’m a new at this and what I didn’t realize, and I talk about this now a lot when I go out and speak, the whole words matter, right? The adjectives we use, whatever we say, is what becomes true. So if we start if we are constantly introducing ourselves, as I don’t have a lot experience in this, I’m new at this, I just started, we’re already telling the listener, that we may not be the right person. And more than that, we’re telling ourselves because regard, our brain is hearing these thoughts. So it’s really, you know, practicing a lot I am statements, and you know, we’ve we’ve done it in a lot of our classes, Stacey is standing there and saying, I am a coach. Right? You know, and it’s really interesting, you know, I think my journey was, you know, I am love, I am kindness, you know, I am a coach. But ultimately, I am Kathy, right, and being comfortable in who have a was an ideal. And I think it’s sort of like, really being able to just stand there and say that and say those affirmations, and I truly think, to all our listeners standing in front of the mirror and the whole, you know, high fiving yourself saying, those I am statements, whatever it is that you choose to do, it really is a moment where you’re sending signals to your brain. And I think that the imposter syndrome comes from those little things, we say out loud, that we don’t realize our messages that we send, not only to our brain, but we send to our heart as well. And it stops us, it stops us dead in our tracks. And that’s when fear kicks in, right? And we decide, well, I can’t do this, because I’m not good enough. And I can’t do this, because I don’t have experience. Instead of thinking about all the things you’ve done in life, and what you’re really bringing to the moment. And when you can sit down and kind of list all those things. You realize, Wow, I’m bringing more to the moment. Then I realized I was bringing, you know, I will Google has this thing called I’m remarkable, which they put out there. And if anybody’s never taken one, you should definitely go out and take it. But one of the things that comes down and that is to learn to brag about yourself. Right. And I think that’s really hard for most of us, right? We we want to come off as being humbled. You know, and not talking about our successes. But the reality is it’s not bragging if it’s true, right. And really saying, what is it that I’ve accomplished in my life who am I? So I highly recommend if you haven’t taken that, that course to go ahead and take it. It’s a free course you can go out and take it but it really helps you get to a place of being comfortable in who you are and being comfortable in your skin.

Stacie Crawford 24:38
Yeah, actually we have a mutual friend friend who is currently in training to be able to do the I am remarkable workshops, which is exciting. That’s gonna be fun to have her have access to her be like hey, you need to put this workshop on get on it girl. That is an amazing Workshop. You know, you speak about the career transitions, especially at an older age, I think that it’s fair to say that career transitions can feel very big and difficult at any age. But I also feel like the younger generations have a very different viewpoint of like, what career transitions means, because it seems like the younger kids, almost, that transition is easy and expected, you know, there is no, like, we’re gonna stay at the same place for 20 years. They’re just like, Yeah, I’m just gonna go do it. And part of me envies them, because it does seem like a Oh, transition is so easy. But I’ve also heard that as we get older, we get more confident. And eventually, it really turns into a total, I don’t give a crap about what anybody else thinks, you know, I’ve heard that story too. Like, is it really that hard to transition? Your career when you’re over? 50?

Kathy Bleier 26:12
So it’s mindset, right? It’s not really I don’t think it’s necessarily I realized that there’s all these things out there about you know, millennials feel this Gen X’s feel this boomers feel this, I get that, but I really think it’s mindset. And at any age, we can have a mindset and, and it can be scary. Right transition. And I think that’s the first step is really admitting it, that there is fear and transition, right. There is scariness and it’s okay. Right? It’s okay to be where you are right now. You know, and, you know, we talked a lot about being where your feet are, right, being in this moment right now. And saying, I’m noticing I’m scared, I noticing I have fear, but not judging yourself on it. And that’s a big thing. I think I learned through this journey is being scared doesn’t mean I don’t need to move forward. Usually being scared means that I’m supposed to be doing this. And that’s something that’s gonna happen out of it. But I think we all go through that, you know, moment of this is really scary. I don’t think I want to do this, right. It’s sort of like when you’re a little kid, and you’re standing on the edge of the pool, and people want you to jump in and you go, I don’t know, this is really scary. Right? And some kids just leap off the end of the pool. Some kids don’t, and it’s okay. It’s okay, whichever one you are, it’s really about understanding that and understanding of that moment of, it’s okay, then I’m not leaping right now. Because I may be a person who had dipped my toe in the water. And that doesn’t mean one is wrong or right. It just means it’s different.

Stacie Crawford 28:01
Yes, yes. And I really liked that idea that you brought up that, you know, maybe that fear that you have is kind of that sign that you actually are in the right place, right at that moment, you’re you are you’re on the edge of the pole, you’re getting ready to take that next big step. And it also brings to mind that idea that, you know, fear and excitement, they’re they’re two sides of the same coin, and they feel the same in the body. It’s like anxiety and excitement, your body reacts literally the same exact way in both. But if you think you’re excited, it feels great. If you think you’re anxious, it feels way less than great, but it’s the same physical feelings that your body is having. So it goes back to that where’s your brain at, you know, what’s, what’s going on there.

Kathy Bleier 28:58
And it’s doing, you know, doing some breath work at that time and working through that. There’s so many actors I’ve heard seen interviews where they say, you know, they may have been acting 2030 years, but they still right before they walk out. Yeah, have those nerves and it’s how they can channel those nerves. You know, and I would say public speaking for most people is like that. Right? And you people fear public speaking, I think, you know, people, whatever the statement is that people fear public speaking more than

Unknown Speaker 29:33
Right, right.

Kathy Bleier 29:36
And it’s how do you channel that energy and part of it is working on you, yourself and not feeling like what you have to say is important, and that you’re worthy of being on that stage and you’re worthy of being there and sharing. And you know, what, not everybody’s gonna like it. And that’s okay too. You know, and being In that situation of being okay, that everybody may not agree and welcoming that. No, Stacy, you and I are in a clubhouse on Friday. And I always start that clubhouse by saying, All opinions are welcomed, right? It’s not about us all being right. It’s about listening to all the different points of view. And knowing some people are not going to like our point of view, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re worthless because of it.

Stacie Crawford 30:30
I agree. I agree. This has been absolutely amazing. It’s full of full of such good nuggets of complete gold. I’m wondering, is there anything that you would like to add to this conversation at this point? I know that’s like, so open ended. It’s like, yes, let’s talk for another three hours.

Kathy Bleier 30:56
Yeah, absolutely. Um, I think really leaning into faith and whatever faith means to you. Because, you know, there’s the that old argument of faith and fear, right. And I think that I have really leaned into the faith of everything’s going to be okay. May not be exact of what I expect it to be. But that’s okay, too. So leaning into faith, it’s funny, I’m going to be doing a series of talks, and they’re called faith over fear. And my husband was like, What do you think you weren’t Madonna? And I was like, Yes, I am. Faith over fear tour. And it’s really leaning into the faith that whatever happens, it’s going to be okay. I love

Stacie Crawford 31:50
it. I love it. Tell me more about this faith over fear tour that you’ve got going on? Is this a thing that is open to anybody to join in? Is this

Kathy Bleier 32:01
starting in October? So it’s not out there yet? But definitely, you know, we’ll share that I am doing September 12. I’m doing a workshop on happiness, and how to how to get back to happiness in your relationships. So anybody who’s interested in that, certainly DM me, and I’ll share the info with you. I’m also doing a workshop on managing stress in September. So if there’s an ease on either one of those, please reach out.

Stacie Crawford 32:29
Absolutely. We’ll have all your contact information in the show notes and everything so people can get in touch with you. Thank you so so much. I always enjoy our conversations. And I appreciate your time. You have so much value to share with people just from sharing your own experiences and I am honored to be able to get your voice in front of more people.

Kathy Bleier 33:02
Thank you so much. Stacey. I’m honored to be here. Thank you so much for asking. I’m humbled by it.

Stacie Crawford 33:06
Thank you. We’re definitely going to have you back because we’ve got a whole slew of topics that that I think that you and I could talk about forever. So we will be seeing you shortly and thank you for coming and everybody go ahead and check out the show notes so you can find out where you can reach Kathy I know that she is very active on LinkedIn and is always open to having people reach out to her there get get to be part of her community and part of her tribe you will not regret it. So thank you have a great week.

Kathy Bleier 33:43
You have a great one. Bye bye

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