Join me as I speak with Anne Von Rohr, a Body and Mind Issues Whisperer. Anne shares how forgiving herself for having fear has led to her to understand that fear is the source of creativity.
Trigger warning: There is brief mention of childhood sexual abuse within this episode.
About Anne Von Rohr
Anne Von Rohr is a Body and Mind Issues Whisperer, whose work consists of helping her clients transform any physical or mind block into an asset. Anne believes that movement is life. It’s also the wisdom she’s been sharing passionately with her clients for two decades.
Anne invites you to join her world of magic whispers where gentleness, love and understanding will change you and your performance of life and movement for ever.
Her background is eclectic going from teaching to banking to Pilates. After getting a full certification in Pilates 20 years ago, she’s spent all these years developing an incredibly simple body mind balance technique that helps her clients increase performance through self-love and recognition.
To learn more about Anne, please check out her website:
https://www.whispersbyanne.com/
Transcription
Stacie Crawford
Hi, Anne, welcome to the show.
Anne Von Rohr
Hi, Stacey, I’m so happy to be here. Thank you.
Stacie Crawford
I am so excited to have you here. I’ve been looking forward to talking with you.
Recording wise for quite some time, I am really excited to introduce you to people and have them hear your story. And we’ve even got like a second story that we get to blend in. So that’s exciting. So let me tell our listeners about you. Your name is Anne van, roar, and you are a body and mind issues whisperer, which I love this race. I think it I think it suits you so well and what you do and as people listen to you speak, they will understand that. But basically what that comes down to is you are a life coach at your own business. If I remember correctly, you’re a Pilates instructor. So you in with you to begin with excellent. So you’ve got this body, mind, and of course, the soul connection going on in your business in your life. And you also got some transitions to talk about and
and we’ve had big things come from some of these transitions. So welcome. Thank you so so much for being here. I very much appreciate your time.
Anne Von Rohr
No, I do appreciate you offering me this opportunity to get my voice out. Because
I am extremely shy. I mean, I do not come across as being shy a lot of people, you know, when they know me, they go Oh, but you don’t really you know, you don’t? You know? No, you don’t seem like a person who would have like a hard time saying things? Well, this has been my whole issue. And this has been my you know, this has been the main
Yeah, issue about my transformational journey. When I basically decided to go from running my business for 18 years, literally, let’s say hiding from the world. Because I was running studios that were always in hidden away places with no advertising. I worked I began working from home, then I you know, which was like kind of a place that you know, was going to be really hard to find unless you knew that I was there. And then I went to work into a rundown post office because somebody had let me work from there. Anyways, it’s always been hidden away places, and I never needed any advertising and marketing. So I just kind of you know, it was kind of the word to mouth, you know, situation and, and I was happy with that. Because when I began I began from home so I just kind of had my rent no matter what was, you know, my living rent was going to cover also my my working rent, so I only had one rent. So I thought okay, let me start slowly, because this is really mean. And this is where it’s interesting how I see the full circle of my of my life so far, you know, in the last 18 years, it’s showing up really who I am.
That I just am someone who firmly believes that less is more, always more. And that slow is the new fast as I like to always say, you know, it’s I began slowly, I had like, you know, a client, two clients, and then when I felt like it was time to open the door for more clients, I was actually asking up there I was like, okay, universe, I’m ready for more. And so I would get like, within the next two weeks, I would get, you know, one more clients. And so I built my clientele like this without having to feel abnormally, you know, pushy about like, hey, look, you know what, because 20 years ago, you have to understand, I mean, Europe? No, I don’t know if you know, by the way, I’m in Switzerland, and I studied and I studied in, in Toronto, pilates, but Europe 20 years ago with Pilates was not just like in America, it was you know, we were behind like we’re always a little behind in terms of, you know, novelties and so I was kind of the one of the first few to open a studio. And if I had done any advertising, it would have been, you know, like, course, like lots of people who have come to me, but I just, I didn’t want to feel overwhelmed by you know, like fake success somehow. So, this is really me, this is me, it’s like my preference is hiding. My preference is to you know, Just basically not be seen see the world but without being seen. And this has been my tragedy as well. It’s a beautiful thing. But tragedy when I decided to switch to, you know, a little bit more of online work after COVID, or during COVID. And I just had to face my demons. So
Stacie Crawford
about to say that COVID was what kind of forced you to be like, Okay, now I need to be showing up, frankly, on social media on the Internet, you know, because you, you were in a place where it was all word of mouth, which I think every business owner dreams of having their business be completely word of mouth and sustainable and successful. So then when you get to this point where something forces you to change and go against
Anne Von Rohr
my nature,
Stacie Crawford
who you believe that you are, that it’s, it’s a, it’s a big deal. So COVID got you pushed in that direction? COVID
Anne Von Rohr
did indeed, yes. Because my clients were requesting they were begging me to do online classes. And it was fine. No, that was fine. You know, because it was them, you know, but it’s still, it still took so much as me, I had to totally step out of my comfort zone. But I began stepping out of my comfort zone, you know, in 2020, when COVID began, and it never seized up to this day, I’m still, you know, showing up on LinkedIn, do what I have to do, you know, getting clarity over my brand right now, which is what I’ve been doing the past two months, it’s a struggle. It’s a struggle. It’s not like I’m a natural with it going, oh, yeah, sure, whatever. That’s really not my cup
Stacie Crawford
of tea. And, you know, one of the things that we have in common is that we both believe so greatly in the power of being our authentic selves. Yes. And so I’m wondering, how are you? How are you being your authentic self, when you feel like what you need to do is not who you really are?
Anne Von Rohr
Well, that’s a great question. My dear Stacy, a great question. And the answer is, is, is like giving birth. This is the image that comes up, listen, showing up as my authentic self is only happening pretty much now. I, you know, it didn’t come, it didn’t come to me, you know, like I had to, just because I defined myself a certain way for for about 20 years, you know, it was just like a head and identity, I was running a Pilates studio. And even if I wasn’t doing Pilates in it, it was my label. And it worked. You know, it worked, you know, to be you know, who I was under this identity, but then when I decided to switch, you know, or to just somehow evolve, I would rather say, you know, into an activity that would encompass online work more professionally than just like, you know, thinking about running some, you know, online classes for my own clients. I spent my time struggling, I did full some coaching courses, try to figure out how to be and just like, what I searched, I tried to do so many different things for like a year and a half. And none of them really resonated with you know, who I was deep inside fully. It was, they were only like, fragments of me. Yes. Because because, you know, it, I think it’s normal. If you think of the process of like, okay, for 20 years, this this was me, and then all of a sudden, it’s almost like I just like a snake I you know, I shed, you know, my skin to be reborn. And it’s taken me through the process of being reborn to reinvent myself or to recreate a new professional life a new me. I had, unfortunately, and I want to say, perhaps fortunately, but it’s it was unfortunate because I didn’t expect it. It took me to some deep facing of unresolved issues. Because the and that’s really that’s a course that I’m going to actually really like an online course, by the way, this is, this is the real online course that I want to, you know, it’s the dare to dare to be You dare to be you is, is not an easy thing, no matter if you’re trying to go on an online journey or not. And I want to say this to whoever is listening. It’s, um, it’s really touching, you know, the deepest sense of, of our self worthiness, you know? Because, should you want it or not, when you are coming from a place of where I came from, completely hiding to all of a sudden showing myself, I could not avoid comparing myself, you can’t get away from that, you know, I’m 56 years old, do I really need to compare myself? Like, do I not have enough wisdom? To be who I am? Well, as a matter of fact, no, I did not have enough self confidence because I was lacking self esteem. And not in terms of my work. But in terms of, you know, myself because of some unresolved issues with my past. And that’s what comes up when you actually step out of your comfort zone to do something completely unnatural that completely challenges you in a way people say you, you’re brave, some of my friends tell me you’re brave. I don’t see the bravery in it. Because I think it’s, it’s, I did what I had to do. But yeah, I let me tell you two years have been a bit of a struggle for me.
Stacie Crawford
Yeah. You know, I think about, I think about some of the clients that I have, and the people that I talked to, in my own business. Excuse me. And you know, this whole, who am I? And how the heck do I make all the outside stuff? feel right? With who I know, I am on the inside. It doesn’t. It’s not just business. It’s, you know, the people going through divorce, the people changing careers, the people whose kids are now going off to college, all of these points in our lives, where we come to a realization that our identity is really Wrapped Shift and the roles that we play, and those roles are changing. Yeah. And so now, who do we become? And I do think that it can be really scary for people to take time to spend time with themselves and explore who they are? Because, like you said, What are you going to come up come up against, you know, what, what’s going to be brought up and to my day to day life, that either has been buried or pushed aside and I’m functioning perfectly contentedly? I think until
Anne Von Rohr
the zone, the comfort zone is the comfort zone, right? Who, who, in their right mind, you know, I want to say, voluntarily, you will say, I want to step out of my comfort zone, please give me give me some of this. I mean, actually, the triggers, the triggers have to be really strong and valid and worthy for us humans to actually, you know, step out of our comfort zone. Yeah. And, and it’s, you know, I think it’s human. And this is also what, you know, I had to learn through the process is to forgive myself for not wanting to step out of my comfort zone for being afraid of my fears, for fearing my fears for you know, judging myself for all the things that came up, you know, which was mostly the biggest fear, why do I have like, if I want to say and be honest about you know, because people may be wondering, what’s the biggest fear, what’s the fear, but the fear is, you know, like, it manifested when I had to be in front of a camera or, you know, just like, take pictures of myself. And I realized I’d never like people taking pictures myself throughout my life, and I never knew why. But I found out why, through the journey at the beginning of the journey, when I did my first coaching program with Bill Miles, who was a photographer and a visual media artists coach, amazing, man. You know, I was in tears. I was so frightened in front of to talk in front of the camera camera to do my first was video because I was just frozen. And I thought, What’s wrong with me? Why am I so unnatural when I am so natural when I’m talking to my clients? So why do I not know who I am anymore almost. And, anyway, so just quickly, you know, said like this, it made me realize that it brought me back to having been an abused child. And my father was taking pictures. And I felt, you know, that I was, you know, the pictures, you know, of me with my growing breasts, you know, like, you know, these were very invasive pictures, and they were that did not feel natural. And, you know, and on top of that, I have father abused my sister and I, but I mean, like, physically, but, you know, sexually, I want to say, not physically beaten, but and so this trauma was so, you know, buried deep, deep, deep. But the actual online journey is one where you can run, but you cannot hide. And this is why I really believe that being online now is it has made me realize so many things this, why do people love now, you know, stories that are so real, because if you’re going to go online, you better make it worth it, not just to show Oh, look how good I look like, who cares, because who’s going to look like a like a movie star, who is going to look like a movie star except the movie stars who are you know, you know, like, they will meet up, you know, for hours, and then the cameras and the lights and the whatever. I mean, this is life. And so what has COVID done for for so many of us is at least to connect people from all over the world to say, hey, you know, your, you know, my story of suffering of struggling or whatever, can help you with your own story of struggling and trying to look for a way out or some solutions. Because this, this is the positive aspect, you know, of the, of the journey that I have gone through is to realize that it’s not about me. I mean, like, I’ve done my work, but it’s really going to be at some point for me to, to realize fully, you know, when I am about to show up online again, now, after doing my brand works strategy work. It’s about you know, delivering something that can help people will get to if they want to a better place. Yes. About themselves, you know, yes, yeah. Value themselves.
Stacie Crawford
Absolutely. And that is something that, you know, we’ve talked about in the past that one of the things that is so important for you is business wise, is helping people really feel good. And feel good enough. Yes, that exactly what you said, valuing them, valuing themselves. And, you know, something that you had said in a prior conversation was, you have a very big belief about what our fears are all about. And so I would like for you to tell us, what do you think about our fears?
Anne Von Rohr
Well, I think our fears are for me. It’s funny, because this morning, when I was by the water, this woman was just cleaning up the mess. And last night from, I guess, a group of young people that just kind of left all their garbage behind. And she was cleaning it up herself. And I was like, well, that’s really nice of you. And she said, Yeah, you know, it’s okay. I’m happy doing that. And I was like, you know, when I, you know, but But I said, you know, it’s great that, you know, your attitude is wonderful, but I said that, you know what’s behind it? I don’t like that much. Because I think you know, you’re you’re assisting that way. We’re assisting people that should actually be in charge of, you know, their own doing. And so if she said yes, but so I’m going to make the short story short, she said yes. But you know why there’s so much anger. I was like, You’re right. There is so much anger. But I said anger, just like fear because fear and anger are very, very close by right. And so behind fear. To me there is for sure. But like me because I’ve seen it and so many, you know, people that I’ve worked with and including myself, there is a lack of self confidence, a lack of self esteem and lack of self esteem, confidence, self worthiness, whatever you want to call it, is a lack of self love. And that is the key. It’s the beginning of the beginning of the, you know, of all our human issues. This is here at birth, ideally, you know, we should all be loved, seen and recognized. And that’s in an ideal world, of course, but considering, you know, you and I know, and our listeners as well, we all know, and maybe some of our listeners are part of this group of people that actually grew up, really, you know, being naturally just honored by their parents, because their parents were honoring themselves. But that’s honestly, today, it’s rare. And so when this woman came up saying, you know, yes, but there’s so much anger, I’m like, Yeah, because we now have generations of people that, you know, kids whose parents are so into, you know, not looking after themselves, not loving themselves, because their parents did not give them that, you know, and so we can go, you know, further and further, but it seems like in the last 50 years, a lot of that, you know, is is actually rising, you know, it’s becoming that there is a huge, like, bulk of anger and fear, because, of course, it’s promoting fear. Fear is, is purely, you know, coming from a lack of foundation of, you know, what, I’m at peace, you know, I’m not saying that if you’re a teenager, you have to have it all figured out. But you know, you know about your roots, somehow, you know, like, you know, your kids know that whatever happened, you got a divorce, whatever. But there’s a mother, there’s a father, and I can count on my parents, and they make sense. And they’re showing me they’re not telling me stuff, they’re showing me by the way, they live their lives. The example of like, okay, this is self worthiness. I’m not, you know, you’re not perfect as a mom, I’m sure as a human being, but you know, but you’re you’re working on, you’re working on your self worthiness, you’re doing what you love. And you are, you know, respectful of who you are. Your journey, your ex husband. And so your children see that. And so for me, fear comes from, you know, people who have so much insecurity. And I was like that years ago, I used to be snappy, you know, what people because I was afraid today, I realized, you know, I was telling my man, you know, the other day, I was like, You’re not going to get away by by, you know, getting mad at people, because you’re afraid you’re simply afraid that they’re not going to hear you.
Yes, but if you hear yourself, you’re not going to have this fear anymore, that others are not going to hear you. So it’s, it’s I’m not saying it’s not challenging. Oh, boy, this this thing about fear is challenging, but I think it’s again, you know, it all boils down to, you know, the self that, you know, just what we haven’t received from our parents, or, you know, from whoever, I don’t know, but I would always, always want to begin with childhood, you know, because this is where our biggest wounds are, and we carry them on into adulthood. I really feel that’s been my case, in the case of so many people I know. But, you know, there comes a point where in your adult, you just have to do your own work, right? You can’t just keep blaming on what wasn’t, you can be aware of it. And then, you know, decide, okay, you know, yes, I just like I was afraid of being in front of a camera, I had to face it. And I dealt with it, I cried, yes, I struggled. I battled I, I fought. But in the end, it was a relief because it liberated me because I found out why, you know, I had this fear for years. So I mean, I’m saying, I haven’t made peace with it yet, because I’m still anxious about it, but I’m better. And this is life. It’s not a movie. So it doesn’t happen over you know, like a fraction of a second.
Stacie Crawford
Absolutely. And especially when we have experiences in our pasts that frankly, mold us into who we are today. It we don’t just sit there and say, oh, okay, that’s what happened. And so now it’s time to move on. Like this is a part of us that whether we know that we’ve been carrying it with us, or we realize or recognize that we are carrying it with us, we need time to integrate that knowledge and come to terms with it in a way that allows us to then look at it and say, Okay, now what do I want to do with this? What do I want to do with this knowledge? What do I want to do with the fact that this experience has shaped who I am? Is that serving me? Is it? Is it something that I need to figure out? How it can serve me? You know, I know when we were talking, the last time you had said that, for you fear is a really big source of creativity. And so I do something that when I, when I’m speaking with my clients, they can get really down on themselves because they’re afraid, and they’re down on themselves, because they think they shouldn’t be afraid. But fear protects us, you know, fears, that little turtle shell that keeps us safe from what happened before happening again, or, you know, it keeps us safe. So like fear has a really great purpose. You know, we don’t want to not be afraid of walking off the side of a rooftop. Like, we need to be afraid of that, that that protects us. But then there is that shifting point. And I think that when you have spoken to me in the past about fears, being the source of our creativity, I feel like that’s kind of where that shifting point is. So what do you mean by that, that our fears are the source of our creativity?
Anne Von Rohr
Well, there’s one. There’s one thing that’s you know, I mean, a couple of things I will mention now, one immediately, and then I will talk, hopefully, we’ll have time, we’re gonna just quickly talk about my favorite technique I’ve developed called
Stacie Crawford
Yes, I definitely want to talk about that.
Anne Von Rohr
But But basically, how I created healing by recognition is going to answer your question, because healing by recognition was born from me, or no, observing in my clients that basically I did not want, you know, them to feel that they were they weren’t good enough. Even through the workouts. Oh, God, I’ve got, I’ve got to do this, right. Oh, it’s not God. And they were pushing themselves. And I was like, You know what? You know, let’s just work with what is right. And I developed this thing, you know, that really works wonders. When I tell them as like your Oh, you’re not feeling good, right? And I can tell you stress today or whatever, and let’s just let’s just take that in, you know, so it, you know, it came to me, when I studied after Pilates, psycho Kinesiology. I was taught about polarities. And fear is definitely a polarity. Right. And I think balance needs, you know, basically to encompass, embrace two polarities. So what can be the polarity of fear? It’s confidence, right? Like, they’re completely like, fearless, but you could be fearless in a way that’s, you know, like, you were saying before, like, you’re, you’re studying, you know, on a roof and you’re like, No, no, I’m not afraid, you know, even if I fall, whatever, you know, it’s very naive, whatever. But so when you bring in when you blend those two in, you know, you realize like, okay, it’s not because I’m in fear that I’m stuck in there. Because fear is, like, you know, polarities for me. If you see, you know, like, you know, if people can even do it themselves, like, you take a column and you have like, on the left, you put, you know, a polarity of like, let’s say, you’re angry. And then you put the middle which will be the balance. And then you can describe, you know, the middle the way you want, but then, at the opposite of anger, you will go, you know, like, what’s, what’s the opposite of anger? It’s peace, let’s say, Right? Or what, whichever word you want to use, that represents the opposite of anger. So, in the middle there when you realize that even if you’re in fear, for a moment, it’s only for a moment, and when you let go of that to just you know, decide that fine, I acknowledge that I’m in fear right now. But I acknowledge it. And so it doesn’t mean my world is only fear. So when you realize that you actually free to go out of your fear by yourself, you choose balance, because this is where it feels good. And this is the key, it’s feeling good. And even in the workouts of my clients, this is what you know, the healing by recognition technique to show them it’s like, you know, when they were forcing, I was like, okay, drop it all. polarity, drop it off, like literally from it, you know, I use a scale of zero to 10. And I’m like, if your intensity is really high, you’re gonna go to zero. So basically, you’re letting go of everything, and then you re engage your body into pain or muscular contraction, but feel good, just, you know, your brain will remember where you were a 10. And then at zero, and then it will bring you naturally at five. And when you’re at five, this is where you really expand this is where all of a sudden range of motion, you know, you’re feeling comfortable, you’re feeling good. That’s the creativity I’m talking about. Right? This is it this is, we cannot be creative when we are in an extreme. And we must, absolutely, absolutely, you know, what’s the word I’m looking for? Embrace, except that we’re not stuck in a moment forever.
It’s, you know, and we are in the body, unfortunately, the body also gets into the same kind of tension. You know, it’s like, you see people when they’re in that in a high polarity, they’re full of tension everywhere, I’ve had clients that’s taken months and months and months to just kind of, you know, made aware of like, your tensions or what’s going on in your mind and how you’re holding on to that polarity, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, because so many people are so especially nowadays, you know, after COVID, or we’re still in it, or whatever, but like, the fear of fear, constantly, I’m afraid of this, I’m afraid, just relax the mind and the body will, you know, full, and then the body will feed the mind, you know, and it’s that’s why I’m a body and mind, you know, issues whisper or body and mind, you know, whispers because I see this, and I and I think it’s so important to you know, realize that we need to live and be creative from a place of, you know, centering, just where the heart is basically what you know, I tell my kids where your heart is, when you feel relaxed, your heart, you’re there, this is it, this is where everything can
Stacie Crawford
happen. So I love it, I love how integral the body is, for the emotional and mental movement. Yeah, within ourselves. And I think in general society, we’re very our body is cut off from our brain is cut off from our emotions. And like, we think that these are separate things, and we don’t realize how they’re all affecting one another, and how much control we actually have, in that process of making those things feel better. You know, when I’m speaking with clients, of course, I don’t do physical work, like you do with Pilates, but with, you know, doing Reiki or Emotional Freedom Techniques, which is tapping, you know, that whole recognition of what’s going on, comes into play. In my coaching, I have had clients who, half of the half of their sessions, you know, they buy a package of sessions, half of those sessions, all that’s being done is me sitting there validating that, you know, it’s valid day, and, and getting them to get to a point where they can validate themselves, and they can acknowledge that this is where I’m at, and this is where I’m feeling and that’s okay. But if that’s not where you want to be, now that you have acknowledged it and you have almost accepted it. Yeah, then you can start to make changes and you know, where the creativity lies. Yes. And I find so amazing about what you do is that you do it so quickly. And I wonder if you think that is because you are incorporating, you know, the mind body.
Anne Von Rohr
I honestly, honestly Stacy, I believe that it is I have come to, I have come humbly to this is why I love psycho kinesiology, which, you know, the guy that created psycho kinesiology used to work as a kinas Kinos therapist, I don’t know if you say that in England, and also as a shrink, and he, every time he was he saying, you know, like I, I was always missing something, when I was working with the body, I was missing the mind when I was working with a minor, missing the body. And this is what I loved about it, it’s that it’s it showed me that you cannot recover, you know, or you cannot return or find your balance. Unless you you really work with both, it’s only going to be a fragment, because the body holds a lot of the tries a lot. It’s stored in there, right? Especially, especially to people who have a hard time, like I haven’t, I’m thinking of a client of mine who is very traumatized from her childhood, she’s, she, when I met her, she was very, very hard. And externally, her body was very stiff and very, she wanted the workout you want and I it took me years to soften her up to go, Listen, don’t be so hard on the on the shell on the outside shell because you know what you’re gonna break. You know, and that’s what I love about Pilates, even though I don’t teach Pilates anymore as such, but, you know, at the time, when I had her 10 years ago, you know, it was like, you need to you need to learn how to be strong in a way that doesn’t show because she was so full of fear that people were going to abuse her of her, you know, in a way. So she, she, she toughened herself up on the outside. And really, you know what she been, again, she was in a polarity. So what she benefited the most from was to learn how to soften herself up, but without showing herself to be vulnerable. And by working on her inside, physically, like learning how to work on the core muscles and how to you know how to use this energy, which is really energy. It’s like, it’s like a basis energy because it’s the energy that holds your skeleton together. And it’s something that’s hidden, it’s that’s why it’s it needs whispers You cannot work for muscles with a hammer, you work core muscles with a feather. So, you know, from from softening her inside, she she you know, slowly started to you know, work out better because her body was less stiff. So she was getting she was gaining range of motion and, and joy, because she was gaining freedom. So, yeah, I think is
Stacie Crawford
amazing, you know, like how incredible when you can literally see the physical change, I can have the flexibility and freedom. And knowing that it’s because she’s gained the flexibility and freedom within it, that I think it’s just incredible, I am definitely going to put your contact information in the show notes so that anybody that’s interested in learning more about the healing by recognition technique, or working with you as a coach, or if they just want to get in touch with you and learn more about even just any texting thing
Anne Von Rohr
about things and share, you know, I mean, I’m open for anyone to get in touch with me for you know, for any reason, really just just because, you know, after hiding for so long. I’ve always known this is why I’m I finally finding you know, like, you know, after like I decided a year where to write a book, and then I just got distracted because of this, you know, like social media online journey. But I’m back to my book and because I, I know that what I have to share what I’ve you know, put together, which is not even like, I don’t know, it’s just something that I do, but it’s so simple. It’s such a simple tool, and I know that it can help some people. I just know it. I’ve known it for years. This is why I have so many clients that tell me write your book, you need to have something so that you can actually you know, share it and it will make sense. Yeah, I Really, because if I can help people with something that’s simple, because that’s our purpose, right? You and I know we’re on the same page, I do not want to be a guru. I do not want people to think all, you know, like, yeah, just do it with no, I want people to have their own tools. And to to be their own, you know, self empowered person, you know, who will go, I know what to do when I’m not doing well. Yeah, instead of just being isolated and trapped. That’s really my purpose is give it to the people give it really share my wisdom, and not just like, sell it for like, you know, oh, look, I figured something out. No, no, no, please. So
Stacie Crawford
I love it. You know,
Anne Von Rohr
we had
Stacie Crawford
talked right before pushing record that you are currently in a place of transition other than looseness, social media, you’ve got a lot going on. And you were starting to talk about this idea of surrendering to what you truly need. Yeah. And that just that phrase really resonated with me, which is why I was like, Okay, wait, stop, can we talk about it on the podcast? Because I want to hear about this. So what, what do you mean by, you know, surrendering to what you truly need?
Anne Von Rohr
You know, I’m, I’m a simple girl. I love simplicity. So much as I get older, even more, right, I just, I love down to earth solutions. And I, I’m, I’m, you know, I just kind of run away from complications and concepts, I don’t like concepts. Now, I just my things need to be, and things I like, need to be really here to help me on a daily basis. You know, and I don’t consider myself being an exception, right. And I’m going through what I’m going through, I’m going through a lot of life challenges, and personal challenges, and I’m not having, you know, easy days, you know, every day far from it. And so, what do I do? Right? What do I do I do with myself, when I’m feeling this way, I, you know, I think there’s, there’s always two paths that you have a choice to take in life, you know, one is for immediate reward. And the other one is for more long term reward. And I think the struggle for a lot of, you know, for myself, and for people that I you know, work with even friends, you know, is to choose every day, or whenever you’re not doing well, which path you’re going to go on, I might want to sit and watch a movie and just like, you know, self pity myself, or am I going to, you know, somehow not push myself too hard, because it’s not going to work either. But just again, acknowledge my needs as much as possible. And, you know, what helps me personally is little doses, for example, in the morning, you know, I’m blessed. I told myself, even though you know, there are so many challenges, I have to push time, I have to push things, you know, like, somehow the things that want to come to me that want to overwhelm me, I have to push them for a bit, you know, and then I’m going for my swim in the morning. And my little, you know, you know, movement meditation, then the things can come back to me, and then a few hours later, I need to push them again. So maybe I’ll go for like a 20 minutes nap, or, like some kind of something that is not going to make me feel guilty about like, Oh, I’m not tending to my things, but at the same time, I feel that in the here and now, when I’m exhausted, I’m not gonna give more because, you know, like, you know, that story that I told you once about that, you know, you know, when you’re on an airplane, and you know, you know, the oxygen masks are coming out. And what are you going to do? You’re gonna put your you know, you’re going to put yours on before your child’s know. I mean, it sounds horrendous. When you think of it, you’re like, but what about my child? You’re like, Yeah, but what about you if you don’t look after yourself, what’s gonna happen to your child? Yep. So, this is this is this is what I try and some days I fail. Some days I fail and I think this needs to be heard. cuz, you know, the, the one of the, the I think the most counterproductive mindset is I have to, huh, it’s the same for body for body workout, right? It’s the same way my my clients, I’ve got to do this right? I’m like, forget it, you got to feel good, stop telling yourself got to do it right? Just tell yourself, you’ve got to, it’s got to feel good, you will see better results. So that’s, that’s what I that’s what I do I try to fool the feel good during my chaotic days, I’m like, I need to feel good for five minutes, I need to feel good, you know this, and then I stopped feeling good for you know, like three quarters of my day, but at least one quarter I feel good. Because if I have four quarters where I’m feeling like crap, you know, forget it. So this is this is my way, this is my way of handling, you know? And it’s, it’s like I said, it’s, it’s practical? Because? Because, um, you know, I don’t I don’t think that we can give people solutions that are unrealistic. Come on. Yes, who doesn’t have issues, who doesn’t go through a lot of problems, you know, like, we all go through a lot of problems and issues on a daily basis. Some days, it’s better, some periods of our lives are easier. I mean, like, the, you know, it’s, you know, it’s aging parents, it’s health problems, it’s, you know, there’s so much going on the kids, you know, worried with, you know, a sick kid or whatever. Like you were saying, before your kids linger, maybe leave leaving home for, you know, college, finding yourself alone, you know, like, divorce, whatever. Life is not like, you know, like, tranquil journey where you just go, you know, and you’re just, you know, you
sit back and you watch, you know, so we’ve got to find, you know, a way to face things, but at the same time, you know, just be a minimum kind to ourselves.
Stacie Crawford
I agree. I agree. I, I often tell my friends and my clients, you know, give yourself the grace that you give to your best friend, your favorite people, yes, treat yourself when you are going through something. That’s the perfect time to start. How is your no ration for yourself, and treating yourself the way that you treat other people. Because we find it very easy to be kind and loving and compassionate to those that we love. But it’s not so easy when it comes to ourselves. And then we sit there and we look around at the world. And guess what? It seems like everybody’s got it all figured out. And their lives are perfect. And you are absolutely right. Now, their lives are perfectly lovely. Because they are perfectly lovely human beings. They don’t have it figured out and they do have issues. You are not the only
Anne Von Rohr
one. Yeah, that and you know, just to just to raise one more point here, which I think it’s very important to spacey, very, very important. It’s the fact that even that’s, you know, telling people, like, you know, I have one client who, you know, whose husband left her three years ago, and she’s still on an anger trip with it. Right. And when I tell her to look after herself, you know, it’s a concept. She hears it, but why do you think she can’t, you know, make it happen? Do you know why I’m sure you do. Because this is the key and this is why this is why I’m saying you know, personally, I don’t identify myself as a coach. I prefer seeing myself as a guide, you know, like, cuz I’m, what do I know, really, I mean, like, I have my life I have my struggles, but I like to tell myself that I guide my clients towards you know, maybe just a better path and then they on their own you know, like this, they’re always on their own and for me, the coach is more like somebody who’s behind you, you know, like that. That my clients who have a hard time with taking care of themselves even just a little bit including myself on bad days. When I pay attention, I realize it’s the days where I you know, have really low very low self esteem. Like I I just Yeah, I don’t know I feel like crap I’m like, you know, I’m tired. Let’s say I haven’t had a good night’s sleep and I have a little bit of something you know, like can make a lot of difference in the way you’re going to take care of yourself. So when I you know we have To Be careful when we tell our people do this, because sometimes they can’t even see it because they’re so far away from loving themselves, that for them to take care of others, it’s easier than taking care of themselves. And way easier. Because literally, this is a way of getting recognition, right? This is exactly so, but But there comes a point where there needs to be a breakthrough of understanding why you cannot, you know, feed yourself with a little bit of self love, which is not egocentric. It’s very different.
Stacie Crawford
I agree. Yeah. So we’re going to wrap up here, but I am wondering, is there it? Is there something in particular, that if you only had a minute to talk to somebody who’s going through change changes, going through transitions going through tough times? What would you tell them to get them moving, and a direction that feels better for them?
Anne Von Rohr
Well, I would say, if I would give a very simple practical exercise. Because words, when you’re not feeling good, they just come into one year, they come out of the other, I would say if you can begin one minute, sit down for one minutes, or lie down at whatever, and put your hand on your heart. It brings tears to my eyes saying it just close your eyes. And breathe. And just be with yourself. Whatever emotion comes up, maybe a tear, maybe nothing, maybe you know, you just want to pay attention to your breath. And maybe imagine your heart. And imagine it’s like it’s your own little heart. Where is it like I tell my clients to continue is it in a nice little box protected, you know, like a velvety box, because it’s so precious, right? Something where you just like, don’t lose sight ever, no matter what you’re going through, don’t ever lose sight of your heart ever. Because people can try to hurt it, you know, you will have like, people will want to tear it apart or abuse, you know of it, or you’re going to give it away for free or whatever. But if you go back to your heart and start looking at it, and decide which kind of container you want to put it in, so it’s kind of, you know, it’s like an it’s beautiful altar place, whatever I don’t know. And then you put your hand on it and you go this is this is my, what’s the word I’m looking for? This is my Oh, looking for a word, which is not my kingdom, but my,
Stacie Crawford
my temple,
Anne Von Rohr
my temple, exactly, whatever. This is my place. And when I put my hand on it, my brain immediately knows Oh, this is my sacred that’s it. This is my sacred place. Yes. And when I breathe into it, I feed it and it becomes stronger. And you know, and it builds my self esteem as well. So instead of just giving it freely, you’re gonna think about it twice. Next time somebody is just gonna, you know, like your ex, whatever somebody is abusing of the of your kindness, you’re gonna go No way. My heart is, you know, in its place, and I only share you know, and I am only going to, you know, open it up to people who are really deserving of entering the secret place. So, that’s beautiful.
Stacie Crawford
I am sure that there are a lot of people that will find that very helpful and, frankly, transformative in and of itself. And again, this goes back to the whole body, mind emotions and yeah, how quickly you are able to help your clients get results. Absolutely feel that movement forward. And we are getting to a dynamic place and stead of feeling stuck.
Anne Von Rohr
We need to help all our human fellows, you know, just go back to love. We need Stacy this is this is what we’re going to need to do in the next decades. We need to help people you know strengthen from the inside through love loving themselves because we lost it. It’s gone for too long. You know, we haven’t been able to share it with our children. Is it enough? It’s like the world needs love but not the love you know kind of new love, peace and love No, down to earth, you know, like really human based love. Oh,
Stacie Crawford
well and I think that you and I could probably keep talking ever. But I am going to wrap up this episode and have a day. Thank you thank you so much for your time thank you for sharing your wisdom and as always, thank you for just showing up as you because I truly have come to see that you are an amazing human being and so I love you know what you bring into my life the way that you make me think the way that you make me feel you know? So do I really have tears to my eyes. And thank you for sharing your your story
Anne Von Rohr
you and I love you. I love you to my
Stacie Crawford
friend.
Anne Von Rohr
Take care. Have a great day.
Stacie Crawford
Thank you for you. Bye
Anne Von Rohr
bye