It’s not easy for a hard-working career woman to make the decision to stay at home with her children when they’re young — especially when she loves her job or is passionate about her career. The fact is, though, that stay at home moms have unique challenges of their own: society puts them under constant scrutiny and the workload of raising the kids, cleaning the house and doing everything else that needs to be done. When a mom stays home full time for a few years after she has kids, it can be just as hard to transition back into the workforce. Guess what? All those things you do as a stay at home mom don’t just stop.
Join me as I have an honest conversation with my friend Jaime who has gone through the transition of being a single, full time career woman to a stay at home mom and back to working full time – this time with the added pressures of having a spouse and three kids.
Transcription
Stacie Crawford 00:00
Hi, Jamie, thank you so much for coming on today. I really appreciate your time. I know you’ve been really busy over the past week with a bit of travel. And I am so excited to have this time with you. So thank you for coming on. Thanks for having me. I’ve been really excited about it. Excellent, excellent. It was so good to catch up with you. You know, for people that don’t know us. We haven’t talked since high school. So you know, what, a year ago, two years ago, something like that. Like that, right? So it has been so exciting to catch up with you and learn about what’s been going on in your life and just get back into contact with you. So thank you for answering the call for Hey, does anybody want to be on this podcast, I appreciate it both from helping me with it. But also just for us connecting again.
Jaime Spaulding 00:57
I was very excited about doing it. So as soon as I saw it, I thought I’m gonna take the leap. And I’m going to send it in and say, plus, I want to talk to Stacy, why not?
Stacie Crawford 01:09
I love it. So, tell me why did you want to do it? What did you want to talk about?
Jaime Spaulding 01:16
So one of the things I’ve always wanted to do a podcast. And I always remember you being very energetic and enthusiastic when we were, you know, last year when we were kids. And I wanted to talk about my life. Before when I before I had children, I worked full time. And then I was a stay at home mom for 12 years, with my 12 year old twins and our 11 year old. And now I went back to work full time, I’ve been working full time for a year. And I want to talk about the transition from being single to having the stay at home mom with the children to now working full time and running a household and seeing what that’s like and how everything’s changed how I transition with that with my children.
Stacie Crawford 02:02
I love it. I love it. So I’m just curious, what was harder transitioning from, hey, I’ve got this life where I am working full time and doing the career thing to now not only am I a new mom, but I’ve got two babies? Or was it harder to transition from being a stay at home mom for 12 years and then going back to full time work with kids?
Jaime Spaulding 02:30
You would think both of them I’ve honestly, I think they’re both. They’re so different, because you’re going in two completely different chapters of your life. So going from, you have no idea, they send you home with two babies. And two, you’ve been running a household, you’ve been doing that with no full time job. And then you’re going into Okay, now I have to do work full time. And you think about how that’s going to be your set. You prepare your children for you prepare your husband for it. And you’re still continuing to do the same thing you were doing with your state law. But now you have other people relying on you instead of just that your current household.
Stacie Crawford 03:15
Yeah, yeah, that’s a lot. That’s a lot. I think just going home with two babies, especially the first times that seems really daunting. And, you know, it actually makes me think of when you did that, when you when you transition to being a stay at home mom, you know, were you excited about that? Was it was it a hard thing to do? Because you know, some people are really career focused. And that brings them a lot of life and joy. And you know, going into a stay at home mom, it’s very, very different. So
Jaime Spaulding 03:53
correct. We had talked about because I was working full time I was in sales, and I had been doing sales for 10 years, very successful in my job. I was actually the one who is making the more money out of the family. So they were losing that income. We had talked about getting a nanny, but at that time, we just decided, You know what, why don’t you just stay home and raise the kids and I thought, can I do this? Can I transition working full time and being involved and working with CXO levels and vice presidents and then going home and transitioning to mom duties and where my husband is he’s the breadwinner and he’s going to work and you know what the expectations are. So that was 12 years. I did not expect to be doing this for 12 years at all. I I thought it’d be a couple of years and that would be it and then I ended up having my third 190 months later so that really kind of sealed the deal deal for me to stay home. And then he started traveling full time with his job for Several years. So it just it kind of just started, you know, the roll, the ball kept rolling, you know, like a snowball effect. And next thing you know, it’s 12 years later, and I still home. And at that point, I thought, You know what I need to, I want to go back to work full time. But then this thing called COVID head. And that kind of just said, this is not the time to, for me to be going back into the workforce. But I was planting the seed of, you know, Mommy’s going to be looking at some jobs. Let’s talk about what life is going to be like when mommy goes back to
Stacie Crawford 05:35
work. Yeah, and you know, your kids were old enough that you could have those conversations with them, which I’m sure was really helpful.
Jaime Spaulding 05:43
It was helpful because they they didn’t understand. So I’ve always been home, I was always on demand. So I could be at I was extremely involved, and I’m sure a lot of stay at home moms do. And even moms who work full time they, they try to be involved in the school as much as possible. So that you know, typical see a PTA, always at the school, I substituted at the school part time, which I got to know this, all the teachers, and how the school ran. And so I was taking the kids to their extracurricular activities. And I could do other things with them, like, do travel classes, so competition dance, or any type of other travel activities. So I was able to do all that with them. Because I was home, thankfully, we are really blessed, because a lot of people don’t have that opportunity. So I’m very, very lucky. And I recognize that. But I told the children and said, you know, at some point Mommy wants to go back to doing what she really enjoyed. I went to school for an educated I really enjoyed that. I like talking to other adults. fine for me to, to move into that position. And I That’s my husband had a contact at my current company. And he’s like, it’s your wife, you know, she may be looking and he goes, she’s talked about it. Yeah, you know, we’ve really talked about it. And he said, ever send a resume over or this is the job, this is what’s you know, the pay range is going to be so if she’s something she’s interested in, it was one of those jobs where it just clicked, you know, just checked off all the boxes. Yes, it was a remote job. So I could still be home when the kids got off the bus. So that was the nice transition for me. Because they could be on the bus, they still see me they come to the door Hi, Mom, how you doing? I can run down the street and get them something if they forgot something, or if they’re doing an after school activity, because buses still aren’t running like they were right prior to part of the pandemic. So that was a nice transition. Now, as I’ve been doing this for a year and a half, I’m going to start getting into a different part of the career where I can be a little more involved my job, it does make a little bit more money, but because the kids are down like Oh, my mom works, okay, we let her let her do her job. And they’re a little more self sufficient, but they’re a little bit older too, so that we can talk a little bit more about how that
Stacie Crawford 08:17
yeah, I and that’s it. You know, we we talk about we you mentioned being very lucky and and being very aware of it. And I know with our conversation before, that’s important for you to acknowledge have your children acknowledge they see they now they understand and they’ve been able to make that transition also. But there’s another privilege going on that is kind of what I call a funny privilege. It’s a it’s a good thing except when it’s not a good thing and that is you are working from home. Yes. And that is a privilege 100% And, boy, that can be really, really difficult
Jaime Spaulding 09:05
is very difficult. So my husband and I are both privileged because he also has the opportunity to work from home too. And I work from home so he’s upstairs I’m downstairs, and you’re home with your spouse all day all day every day. And we both are working full time but the thing that we’ve had to have conversations about it’s still an ongoing conversation is the work life balance and he is work and he expects me to still intense mine and we have still have conversations about this. Where I am still doing what I was doing when I was a stay at home mom plus doing my job. Yeah, I’m still able to find time to Alright kids, make sure your activities let’s go you have to get out the door or the dogs barking because he’s hungry and wants to go outside. I Um, oh, we’ve got a, we’ve got bees, the bee guy is coming, you know, like some spray the house I, you know, taking care of all those things around the house. And he’s, you know, he’s upstairs doing his thing where we’ve had to talk about that. That’s where I know I’m not the only woman who faces on a daily basis. It’s still thinking, Well, I’m the man I’m, I’m taking I’m providing yet I’m bringing in just as much of the income and everything but I’m still doing that. And you, you have that conversation? It goes well, for a couple of weeks, and then everything
Stacie Crawford 10:40
back and D FOSS? Well, you know, I’ve had this conversation with a lot of people about, it’s not just and don’t take this as a US knocking your husband, because based on what I’ve heard, he’s not the kind of person to walk around the house stomping around saying, I’m the man and you’ll do what I want, you know, you guys have a really great partnership. And he is, you know, completely on board with it being a partnership between the two of you. But it’s interesting, because our society really does have this very different viewpoint of what a woman working full time looks like, and what a man looking full time looks like, you know, the men, if they take off early from work to get to the baseball game, they’re being a great dad, look at them, they’re so involved. You know, if a woman takes off early to take the child to the baseball game, they’re unreliable because you know, their kids come first. It’s, it’s a really intriguing perspective and paradigm that I’m hoping to see shift more and more, as you know, frankly, as we get used to more people working from home, and people having a little bit more freedom. I’m hoping that this idea will shift. So it makes sense to me that this would show up in your house as well, because he’s he’s working like like he’s working, you know, how could he possibly take care of the beat guy because he’s working,
Jaime Spaulding 12:19
he is working, he is on the phone, he is on a conference call or a webinar or whatever he’s doing, even though I’m doing the same thing, because I managed the schedule, the household. And I know the silliest thing is, but people wonder I said, I sent him outlook invites to all of what’s going on, just so he knows. Okay, I was out of town this week, I was for work. And I had sent outlook invites of everything that had to be done that week, just so he understood what I do on a weekly basis. Miraculously, he was able to go around his entire schedule, and make sure that everything was taken care of. Right. So it can be done. It’s just
Stacie Crawford 13:07
a matter of a capability. And I don’t even think it’s a matter of not wanting to in a lot of cases, I think it’s one of those. I don’t know about you guys, but we we put something on the bottom steps so that the next person that goes up the steps can take it up the steps with them so that we don’t have to make a special trip. And the next thing you know, it’s still sitting there two days later, it’s that we get used to seeing it a certain way. And in your case, you were the stay at home mom for 12 years. So you took care of everything. Everything. How do you make that shift? It’s not going to be instantaneous, you know, this conversation
Jaime Spaulding 13:47
even with a friend of mine, who is now the CFO of a company, a large company, and she is She struggles herself when I was talking to her we had youth football signups and she missed it. And she’s like, I feel like a terrible mom because I missed youth football signups. Right, and she’s texting me. Can you please help me with this? And I said, No, no problem. This is how you do it, all that stuff. But she still feels horrible. And she’s traveling back and forth from East Coast to West Coast and, and taking and still trying to be mom and her husband, again, very supportive person on top of it. But she feels that, you know, resentment of I can’t be there for everything. But here I’m trying to do my job, but she wanted to make sure that she was she was going on a career path that you’re good for her, like, take that opportunity. It was there and she took it and but she says to this day, I still feel that guilt of not being able to do everything that is expected of me and I put that in air quotes. Yeah,
Stacie Crawford 14:53
right. Right. Absolutely. And you know, it makes me think of A lot of people, we talk about the values that they have, and how we choose what we want to do how we want to show up in life based on the values we have. And a lot of people in life have the value of family first. And it sounds really simple because we all know what that means to us. But that doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to other people, you know, for some family first means literally financially providing for everything you could possibly need or want. For others, it means that they want to go to the other extreme of being a helicopter parent, and their children are never out of their sight, you know, and then there’s everything in between of, of involvement, non involvement, and each person has their own idea of what that means to put their family first. And I think about you being a stay at home mom for 12 years. You love being with your children. I know this because of the way you speak of them. Yes. And yet, you had to pursue going back to work because there was a piece of you missing and how do you give your best self to your kids, when you’re not providing for that piece?
Jaime Spaulding 16:23
I think that’s I think it’s the age old question. I just said, it’s a good question. I still don’t feel like I have the answer to it at this point. I’ve been doing this for well over a year. And just just even this week, I was out of town for four days. And I was getting the text messages, how’s everything going? I miss you. The phone calls, and there was a part of me that was down there going. Um, I felt a little guilty being down there. Yeah, without them. And I thought I’m having to really enjoyed myself was there with my coworkers and haven’t seen in person and we were going out to these cool restaurants having a good time. And then they’re they’re home. And I’m thinking to myself why I should have be able to have a good time and enjoy myself and be with my coworkers, but the same time here having this guilt. So even a year and a half later. I still trying to find that. That balance? I’m hoping I’m answering your
Stacie Crawford 17:26
question. Yes, yes, absolutely. And it’s,
Jaime Spaulding 17:29
it’s still continues to be a work in progress. I don’t even know. 20 years from now, if I’ll be able, even when the kids are out the door, I’ll still probably working maybe it’ll be who knows I’ll be doing and there’ll be like, Mom, can you come see your grandkids? And I’d be like, sorry, I like doing either. You know, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll have grandma yelled at that point. I don’t know. But I still think it’s, it’s, I don’t think it’s ever going to change. Unfortunately, I think it’s going to be it’s just going to evolve to a point where we’re in a routine are they understand that? This is mommy’s job. This is her life. And I have to respect that because I’m they’re going to have their own lives at some point I think they will understand. And they’re old enough? I think they’re starting to understand.
Stacie Crawford 18:14
Absolutely, absolutely. It sounds like throughout all of the changes between going to become a stay at home mom to going back to work, you and your husband really had a lot of discussions and really communicated well about things and tried to plan the best that you could write. So I’m wondering, were there any surprises that happened during this transition during either of these transitions? That kind of caught you off guard? Or did it pretty much play out? Like how you kind of expected it to,
Jaime Spaulding 18:56
I think when you had when I had the twins, you don’t really know what to expect. And like that book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, it really doesn’t cover anything. On your own, pretty much. You’re kind of waiting, I think, you know, my mom was there for the first two weeks, helping out both my parents. And when she left. It was probably one of the saddest days of my life as you watch your mother drive away and you’re left with two brand new babies and not even quite sure what to do. And then my husband went back to work because, again, we have no paid maternity or paternity leave in this country. And I was left home after having a C section. I had lost a lot of blood. So I was you know it Mnemic severely anemic and I was homesick raising two babies while he had to go back to work. And that’s that’s a whole different discussion about why they leave maternity leave. But he had to go back to work. Because that’s, you know, so I’m stuck at home and raising these two kids. And it’s very exhausting. If anybody’s had even one child, they know how exhausting it could be just double it. And he would come home and he’s tired from work, right? I’m tired from my job, which is taking care of the kids. But one of the things we had to discuss and instilled in you know, one of the things we were still continued to be in progress was, well, I worked all day, you know, Jamie, I’m tired. But I’m really he goes, he thinks while you’re home with babies, you know, it’s easy, took some naps and stuff. Works. Right. And that was those that was an ongoing discussion of, you know, I understand you, you work all day, thankfully, you’re able to do that and pay for things and handle it. But you come home, I still need help. You know, your job, my job continues on all day into the night. Yes, you need to be there to support me too. So that’s where that’s where I’m sure every couples going through, that’s where the arguments come into, because you’re exhausted, you’re just trying to make, make sure the child stays alive.
Stacie Crawford 21:14
And that’s exactly right. You’re already at this place where you’re tapped out. So there’s no way of really feeling like you can control the emotions. So hacks, yeah, you’re going to get into arguments, and then you’re going to feel bad about the arguments. And let’s add on the fact that you did just have two babies. So you’re hormonal, which does not make controlling the emotions feel any easier. It’s like, I think I would be able to handle this if I wasn’t exhausted beyond belief. And if my hormones weren’t, like sitting there being like, pay attention to this, pay attention to this, you know, it’s that’s a tough place to be
Jaime Spaulding 21:57
cray. Are you crying in the middle of the night? Because Are you feeding your child enough? Why are they crying? They have, you know, like, you can’t breastfeed because you just aren’t producing enough feeling that guilt on top of everything out, like the amount of pressure that is put on a new mom is incredible. And I, I hope that changes over the years where we don’t know, we’ll have some way, but I don’t feel like it’s ever gonna go away. But I think that the base going on, we see the whole formula shortage right now. And that pressure being put on the moms again, where we’ll just breastfeed, it’s not that easy. They tried it was that easy. And don’t shaming the moms and again, that whole nother discussion. But then you get into Okay, now they’re moving into toddler years, and then you know, then they’re moving into elementary school. So those are all things that you continue to have a conversation with your spouse a how those transition works. When they were moving to elementary school years, that’s when he started traveling three to four days a week. So um, basically us, he says, I don’t want to use a single mom site
Stacie Crawford 23:13
that’s taken away from what you are for those three to four days, three
Jaime Spaulding 23:17
to four days. Well, I have thankfully an income coming in. That is so he’s out of town. But I’m taking care of everything like I don’t have that support. Now, thankfully, I live in a very nice small little town with we had a very, where they say it takes a village, I really do live in a village where I had other moms and you just had to start becoming reliant on other women to write and which
Stacie Crawford 23:41
is amazing. Yeah, so I think that that is one thing that, at the very least that’s seems to change, or it seems to have changed a bit is that women are being more supportive of other women and pulling together to create their tribes and their villages. And you know, that’s a wonderful thing.
Jaime Spaulding 24:03
You understand, you’re not the only person going through this. There are other people, Jane down the street is having the same issue or concern as you are. So it’s not just just about you, your house, it may look like a hot mess. Jane’s house is a hot mess to write. We all live in. So it made me feel so much better to know that I wasn’t alone. And I was lucky to have that support around me too, because I don’t live near my family. They live hours away. So I had I had to rely on the support of the local community.
Stacie Crawford 24:40
Right, right. So if you could turn back time, yep. And either before having the children or even before going back to work full time as as a mom, if you could turn back time. Yeah. What would you tell yourself? Going into it,
Jaime Spaulding 25:03
you have all these expectations and you think you’ve got it everything planned out. And you realize you can have a great plan, you must have just take it, throw it up, throw it right out the window, because not it’s not going to work. Now there are things in place that I do have, like I did have everything scheduled. One of the things I did work on was my again, my children are 11 and 12. So but making setting expectations with them, they had to take on a little more responsibility around the house. I was doing everything. You know what, I don’t know about you, Stacy. But growing up our parents, I was I had a dust frog in my hand at five right there, right, or something that I could do. And I feel like I wasn’t doing that with my kids. And I said, You know what, you are old enough. I’m gonna teach you. This is how you do laundry. Right? And so we started, oh my gosh, my whole life changed turned around. And I taught the children how to use the washing machine. And but there was those hipsters, so getting them more involved, and they wanted to help they wanted to be involved. They thought it was more of like, what big kids get to do you
Jaime Spaulding 26:22
Things like small things, like how to make some eggs or mac and cheese or whatever, something small that they you know, they don’t rely on me all the time be like, Okay, well, Mommy’s not here, or she’s going to be running late from work. I’m hungry, okay, I’m gonna go make myself something. So,
Stacie Crawford 26:41
which those things are really amazing, because and in giving them that responsibility, you’re also teaching them these life skills that at some point they’re going to have to learn. So why not use it to your benefit? I mean, we are not talking slave labor here.
Jaime Spaulding 26:59
They live in the house like I do. They make a mess, like I do. Yeah, yeah, there’s nothing wrong. And I agree with you there. You know, it comes to some people are like, well let the kids do it. Let the kids do it. I said, they live in the house, but they’re not free labor. They are here as they contribute to the household. And there’s nothing wrong with them. They need to pick up a vacuum cleaner, they need to unload the aid, the date the food off the dishes, they need to unload and load the dishwasher, teach them how to do all that. These are skills they’re going to be using for the rest of their life. Learning how to schedule their time to it’s Thursday at four o’clock, we’re going to be leaving to go out for activity. Why are you not dressed? Why do I have to keep reminding you of this? Right? So they have to start learning to manage their own skill to a point we have a calendar up and everything. So they know
Stacie Crawford 27:50
that again, they’re 11 and 12. You’re not talking about a three and a four year old, right? This is expected and you know, yes, they know it’s Thursday, and they know that they have practice and wrecks.
Jaime Spaulding 28:03
And that’s where the transition went in. Of okay, I can manage my job now. And set expectations where, Okay, Mommy can start doing things for herself going to the gym or going out to meet friends for dinner or whatever. Because I have the time now. And I feel comfortable saying Okay, kids, you can you can handle this. I have a life I’m allowed to do these types of things. You know, not and my husband has always said, Okay, go out. As he knows I’m a super social person. He knows that. It’s never, that part’s never going to change. When we start doing something for yourself. Like going to the gym. Whoa, what Wait, what do you mean, you’re gonna leave for an hour or so and go do something like that? What we mean is you’re gonna know, out, right? Being a trick trick.Are you going to the grocery store on the way back? Are you going to do this? You know, other expectations come in there and like okay, well, I guess I can handle that because I’m out. I’m also take care of it. It’s like, Wait a second. Why don’t you go do that?
Stacie Crawford 28:56
Yes. Yes, yes. And it’s interesting because how easily we we fall into that? Oh, yeah, of course, I can take care of that because I am out. And just out of being like, No, I’m going to the gym and then I’m gonna come home, and I’m even gonna shower. Yeah. Which means I’m gonna be alone. A little bit longer. Yes, y’all can handle it. It’s okay. But we tell ourselves that like somehow, this is, you know, taking time away from our family. It’s, you know, you’re not being a good parent because you’re spending time on yourself. And then you get to the point where, okay, you don’t do these things. Well, do we have health issues coming up and now it becomes an even bigger problem for the family. Whether they’re physical health issues, mental health issues, none of that matters. It affects everybody in there. But we as as the moms, we easily fall in into that place of Oh, yeah, we’ll just we’ll just take care of it. And yes, I’ll be available 100% of the time. And it’s difficult to make that change as well. You know, I think that sometimes when we’re going through transitions, it feels really nice to keep our kids in a place where they have a really good foundation, and they feel really secure. But sometimes, that’s the perfect opportunity to make these certain switches where it just makes sense. It just made sense for the kids to have more responsibilities around the house, they were old enough, this was a perfect opportunity to do it, it makes sense.
Jaime Spaulding 30:46
I agree with it, do you have to put the kids I hate to say in an uncomfortable situation, but change is necessary. And me going away, it’s going to happen more often not like, I’m not going to be like, my husband was traveling every week, right? You know, Mommy is a professional, she’s expected to be there. My manager and my director, think very highly of me, and I’m doing a good job, excuse me, but I feel like what I’d be doing a better job if I wasn’t also managing for entire household awake. So they don’t know, maybe I’m just doing a really good job of covering up and then not seeing this part. So if they hear this guy’s I’m really, but she’s really, really good. I’m just really gonna manage my time. But those are the things that my kids need to understand, like, there’s going to be change. And I hate sipped, you’re gonna have to get used to this, it’s going to be a different part of your life, like you’re changing into a teenager, I know what to expect. But I’m really not ready for this part of their their life, we just talked about this, like, you know, about a couple years from now how big it’s going to be. And I’m excited about that, that part of their lives, too, because they know how, how much change is gonna happen and how it’s going to be influenced their 20s and going into their 30s, and so forth. But at the same time, this is going to be my next chapter in life. And it’s I’m going into that next part where I’m going to be hopefully doing what I’ve always wanted to do with my life. Because we talked about this too, beforehand was my 20s was my single year doing my job, my 30s was raising my kids. And now I’m going into my 40s. Doing my next part of my career, and going to the path I want to do in my 20s, I didn’t have the opportunity to do and I make sure that I’m doing that. And we have that conversation with my manager this week. This is where I see myself and us have to keep on that track. And making sure that kids understand where this is where mommy’s headed, make sure my husband understands, this is what I want to do. And he’s like, What, hey, whatever you want to do, do do what you want.
Stacie Crawford 32:55
Right? Which is awesome. Yeah. Which is great, which is awesome to have that support. So one last question for you. What do you think the most important thing is that you learned from experiencing these major transitions? I know that’s a big question is
Jaime Spaulding 33:15
there’s a couple of things. The biggest part for me was one, I can’t believe that this is like so simple. But I am one of those people that’s like a list maker and I have to a schedule was literally, I live and breathe by a schedule. And it’s the only thing and it’s it’s just the way my brain works. Like I have to see what I’m doing when it’s when it’s going to be done. Making, you know, talking to other people who have children, either my age or older and saying how, what are you doing? How’s it affecting your life? Someone who’s in a similar situation to me, and what are they experiencing? And how did they work through it or what you know, what didn’t work? What does work? And trying to adapt it? That’s my lifestyle. I can’t believe I mean social media, like listening to podcasts, Tik Tok Twitter. I know, and I know that can be like, they always say, oh, you know, that’s bad. But no, I’ve gotten some really great advice from people who this is either their job or they’re just normal people like us who just wanted to say this is what I do. This is how my life is, and kind of adapting it to my life and seeing what’s working, talking to my co workers who are also moms and dads and how are they handling life, and what’s working for them. And that’s literally how I’ve gotten through the past 20 years. Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s 20 years but it’s really been 20 years, and how everything has changed and how I’ve grown and adapted to it. I’m still the same person but I Look back at myself thinking, oh, man, I was like really cool. But now going into like, cool, I just got a lot more, you know, age behind me and wisdom. And now I know what I need to do. Like this will be cool. I just you know a little more. I just know how the outcome what’s going to happen with the outcome?
Stacie Crawford 35:23
Yes, with x. Yeah, I love it. Well, you know, I really appreciate you taking the time and being so open about everything that you’ve been through, because, like you said, hearing from other people that, you know, it’s going to be okay, yes, it’s going to be okay. Hearing that from other people can be exactly what someone needs just to get through that next moment, when they’re really feeling down, you know, when they’re going through that hormone all time have I just had a baby, I have no sleep, and my husband just doesn’t understand. And, you know, our brains can go down crazy paths, you know, maybe I shouldn’t be married, was this the right thing? You know? And that’s like, just normal. That’s just normal for very high all of these thoughts. And then to sit there and really be weighing, you know, how do I balance being a happy, productive, joyful human and doing what I need to do to feed my soul? Yes. And you really great mom at the same time. And I see you’re doing that. It’s, it’s amazing. And it’s wonderful. So thank you for sharing.
Jaime Spaulding 36:44
Thank you. I’m trying and we have I think that’s the other thing too, women don’t take the, when someone says you are really doing a good job, you are doing a good job, you’re doing the best you can with what you have, and keep just plugging forward. And it’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to be angry at your spouse, it’s okay to be angry at your kids. It’s okay to step away and be like, You know what I need a moment to, to be with myself. So you’re everything. It’s normal. And I have to keep telling myself that too. But thank you for even saying it. Now. Stacey, you’re doing a good job to look what you’re doing away. You’re doing a good mom, to everybody needs to hear this. Because we don’t know there’s no book that comes along with this.
Stacie Crawford 37:36
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I can’t tell you how many times I say to moms, you know, you know how you doubt about whether or not you’re a good mom, if you’re doubting, you’re probably a better mom than you really think you are because you even care. You you care about being a good mom, that puts you, you know, the next level up of momming. So thank you. I appreciate your time. I appreciate your story. I am so glad we had this opportunity. So thank you.
Jaime Spaulding 38:12
I enjoyed this. Thank you for taking me on to your show. I’ve enjoyed doing this. You’re fulfilling a bucket list thing and hopefully again, I can be this goes over well, then maybe it can be on again.
Stacie Crawford 38:25
I think that I think we’ve got a lot of things that we can talk about. And I’m going to say it again.
I think you should create your own podcast in your copious free time
Jaime Spaulding 38:37 to get all my free time. You
Stacie Crawford 38:38
know, full time parenting. Exactly. Okay, well, thank you, Jamie. We’ll talk to you soon. Thank you